Was I Too Posh to Push?

I sometimes can't help it. I feel slightly embarassed about having a CS delivery and never experiencing labor.

But I swear, despite my low pain tolerance, I didn't think i'd need a C-section. I mean, all my female kin were able to deliver vaginally! 10-pound babies and twins were delivered by aunts and cousins normally!

I think I was around my 36th week when I was hit by the fact that i'd be in soooo much pain (labor) soon. I was lying in bed then, reading a book, and I started feeling scared and weepy. I was fearful of the pain, wondering how i'd tolerate it, how traumatized i'd be by the experience. From then onwards, i'd be like that every night. Plus, being a first-time Mom, I was scared that I might miss the fact that I was already in labor (like mistake real contractions for Braxton Hicks).

Well, I never had much of Braxton Hicks either. I delivered at 40 weeks and 4 days so I reached the cannot stand up by myself and the achy va-j-j walls part. And yes, my back and hips were killing me. And yes, there were times when my whole tummy froze up in pain, and i'd whimper, but that would only happen once or twice at night, and not even every night. And never while I was sleeping. Its getting leg cramps that were truly the most horrible for me that time, and I only got two or three during the latter part of my last month.

But okay... why did I deliver via C-section?

The short answer we usually give is... baby was overdue. Which, technically, he wasn't because he's actually allowed to stay inside till 42 weeks. He was postmature.

But he was also a polyhydramnios case. A high level of amniotic fluid usually suggested a congenital anomaly or gestational diabetes.

Baby also didn't lighten or engage. My cervix ripened (I think) but remained closed. In short, inducing him would be reckless at that point... and the chances of me going into labor within a week was slim. Meanwhile, waiting a week more would mean a bigger, pooping baby who might have some congenital anomaly. Talk about risks. Talk about possible breastfeeding struggles.

I looked at my husband and we didn't have to really talk about it anymore. That was around 7 PM of October 06. Our OB started looking for available ORs and we luckily got the 9 AM slot the following day at Asian Hospital.

So, was I too posh to push? I actually don't think so. If at all, I was too scared of risks, maybe, or too impatient. After all, I know some who delivered babies at 42 weeks normally (but let's not talk about their episiotomies, hehe). But I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk my baby's life, not when we had enough money to make sure we didn't have to.

And I think, hubs just didn't want my life to be put at risk either...