I have vowed to bond extra with Yakee for our last month without Yamee. I have even written it on our white board so I'd be reminded every day. And honest to God, I am really trying.
However, he is really trying my patience all the time, no matter how nicely I ask or explain or say. And I really don't have any patience, what with dealing with all the discomforts of the last stages of pregnancy and birthday blues. Not to mention, my apprehensions for my coming delivery and this new addition.
I guess, we are both stressed.
It just sucks that I've lost my temper every day with my son. And the solution is actually a simple concept: redirection. I fail to offer something else for him to do, which he'd like or be occupied with. I fail to distract him with something else. And kids only really want attention when they misbehave or refuse to listen but when I just say "NO" or "STOP" then they still don't get the attention they want.
God help me, I want our last month together to be as nice as possible because it would really break my heart if he'd feel I abandoned him when Yamee arrives and occupies all my time and energy.
This morning he kept singing "Happy birthday Mommy" to me while holding my hand. And he's taken to calling me Mommy Princess or Princess Mommy. He's the prince, of course.
added in the afternoon:
This could very well be one, if not the, worst Mommy moment of my life yet. My hands are stinging from all the spanking I did, even if I didn't really spank my son from one to sawa. Sigh. I like to blame the terrible threes and pregnancy hormones for days like this when I struggle so, but generally I feel and believe that I'm just not cut out to be a Mom.
Really, really, really bad day. I think I am just reinforcing all the negative behavior that so pisses me off.
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