Friday, November 5, 2010

Humbled and Grateful

I braved the aftermath of heavy rains today and kept my appointment with my OB, who turned up later than I did because she was caught in traffic herself.

I had to pay to cross two makeshift bridges along Taft going to CNR building and then faced a quandary of sorts at the corner of Taft and Apacible: do I finally wade in flood water or do I ride the rickety makeshift sidecars?

I opted to ride the sidecar and actually almost tipped over into flood water. I remember thinking of that woman who gave birth in the LRT and wondered if I will make the new myself if I give birth there and then. But God was with me and I managed to cross and reach my OB's clinic.

Two of the other patients who were ahead of me just had surgeries to remove cysts in their reproductive systems. One was given a 50-50 chance of conceiving and was advised to start saving up for IVF, which our OB deemed as her best bet in conceiving. That's around P500k without guarantees.

Another one was there for endometriosis and she was vocal about hoping to avoid surgery, not just because of the cost but also because she'd really rather she get operated on because she'll be having a baby.

All are childless still.

And there I was, stressing about delivery costs when God blessed me with not just the means to give birth at the hospital of my choice, but that He blessed me with child without having to go through what those women will be going through.

Of course, I know I am still entitled to stress and rant. I am entitled to my feelings after all. But with my contracting belly and throbbing yah-know, I was reminded of God's love for me and how it's such a privilege being who I am.

And so, I celebrate again the gift of motherhood... and silently offer others a prayer that those as deserving as I am be blessed as well.

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