Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Parenting Out of Fear

There are no guarantees.

From the viewpoint of fear,
None are strong enough.
From the viewpoint of love,
None are necessary. (Emmanuel Teney)

I have strived to not parent out of fear, though fear is such a strong motivation. So I have decided to choose which things I will fear instead that will motivate the kind of parenting I do and the kind of mother I become.

So, I allow my son some germs because he won't live and grow in a vacuum.

And I don't give him everything he wants or asks for, because it will not provide him with a realistic view of life.

And I don't feel guilty about not providing anything and everything money can buy, like enrolling him in everything there is, because I trust that what I don't help develop in him, he can grow up to find and develop himself.

I am more scared that he will grow up feeling entitled, not to my love, but to an easy life.

I am more scared that he will grow up not appreciating the consequences of his actions.

Or looking outside the family for company and guidance and good times. Or looking outside of himself for happiness and entertainment and fulfillment.

There are no guarantees. I just really hope that our brand of love will be enough.

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