Sunday, January 2, 2011

Ending the Year with Tears

Yakee was overstimulated when he went grocery-shopping with hubby and my in-laws. He was super hyper that he didn't want to sleep and I had to enforce a nap since New Year was up and we'd all be up till the wee hours.

In the midst of his tantrums, my boy dared to willfully kick me in the breat area.

I flipped. I spanked him, got the toy he wanted to play with, packed all his other toys and declared to his father that the toys are on timeout and I am giving our son what he was screaming for, to leave him alone.

Then I cried. I cried till after we've heard Mass.

I was just so upset about my son still not handling his temper better, and me not being able to control myself too. Mind you, I consider my breasts sacred and that's really what got to me. There was a flashing "how dare you hurt the breasts that fed you and the breasts that are feeding your brother now" sign in my head for a few moments. And my allergies and lack of sleep are not to blame entirely... I am just really a work-in-progress and my progress as a parent has been slow.

Yakee and I sort of made up around New Year, when he asked for the trumpet and did not go berserk anymore when we refused him his other toys. He understood he crossed a line and jumped his way into the New Year.


Just in case Yakee thinks that am just always going mental on him... or that he spent his preschooler years in a tantrum haze... I'd like to say that most days, he minds what Mommy says and Mommy can pretty much understand where he's coming from. Sometimes, I am also able to head off a tantrum from coming. Or at least, handle it better... like that one at the Vietnamese restaurant where Yakee was screaming and crying his head off. I just restrained him in my lap and kept telling him to cry all he wanted and the tantrum lost its thunder in no time. We did not even have to exchange hurtful words.

And for the life of me, I really don't know where Yakee got his "leave me alone" wailings of late. Sigh.

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