I shouldn't really let Yakee engage me in a battle of wills. But, when I lack sleep or Yamee's fussy, I can easily get irritated. And once I am angry, it takes time before I calm down.
We did sort of made peace yesterday and had a perfectly regular bed time ritual without fuss. He was also still agreeable this morning... and then, it's one stubborn episode after another, coupled with disrespect and acting out in public.
I sometimes feel that Yamee's burgeoning cuteness and interactivity is to blame... it threatens Kuya, no matter how loving he is. Then I think it's also him just testing his limits more.
I believe I cried myself to sleep two nights in a row, hating our fights and hating the feeling that I am a failure... hating the possibility that I may be doing more harm than good... hating all the implications of these little fights... wondering how to get to this point and being a grandparent to their kids without burning bridges or sending anyone to the loonybin.
God, grant me grace and wisdom and more, more patience.