One thing I have been really sad about ever since eczema stuck my fingers is that I don't always enjoy holding my sons... because sometimes, it's too painful even to just hold hands. Yakee would even say, "Ouch Mommy, you're hurting me with your finger." because the dry, scabby skin would be rough on his face.
It was only lately, after taking antibiotics, when I started not feeling itchiness in my fingers and they got healed enough for me to actually enjoy caressing my sons to sleep again.... so I touched them all the time. But yesterday, the itchies were back. And now, the itchy bumps. Sigh. Soon, my fingertips will be cracking again, I just know it.
I don't know if it was something I ate, or if we need to have some water softener on top of the gentlest cleansers.... of course, I am hoping the eczema isn't here to stay.
I don't want my sons growing up with the notion of their mom having rough hands... not really for vanity. I want them to grow up liking being touched by me, and nobody really likes being touched by rough hands. Especially when the fingers seem like they're about to burst and ooze infection on you.
I shouldn't get depressed over the possible return of all the itchies but I am. I so miss being able to enjoy my hands.
While washing Yakee's face:
"Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a teacher at St Michael"
Napa-awww... and napa-kiss naman ako talaga!
That is a testament to how loving his Titas are at school... that he thought to be like them.
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