Friday, April 27, 2012

Surviving and Struggling

The heat isn't helping.

Yamee teething isn't helping.

Yakee being very demanding, restless, then sick isn't helping.

My eczema isn't helping.

My stress isn't helping.

This week, I have spanked Yakee two or three times because of how he is treating Yamee while I struggled with chores. I have spanked Yamee for throwing the weighing scale off the stairs in one of his late-night attempts not to sleep.

Last night, when both boys refused to eat, I started tearing up... and when hubby got home, I left them for a while to play Words with Friends while fighting back tears.

But weirdly enough, after asking some Mom friends to pray for me since I am really struggling, I felt a little better.

It's hard to remember that the reason why my kids are whiny, demanding and unmanageable is me. But it is. In the stress of bargaining with the errant helper to return the stolen goods and adjusting to a life without my cousin (who I really miss too, not just because she helped us out), I have forgotten that they actually pick up MY stress and get confused by it. Leading to mayhem. Chaos.

Hopefully, Yakee does believe it when I say that even when my temper is short, I do love him and his brother.

And please, please God... don't let them be sick anymore. Not only have we paid for the swimming lessons, I really want them to have that this summer.

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