Monday, April 9, 2012

Thanks to Mom Communities

One of the things that was brought up in the J&J event I attended was how new generation Moms are tech-savvy moms. We use gadgets and technology to make things easier for us as well as enrich our everyday lives. Part of this is getting connected to other mothers/parents through e-groups (I thank N@W for this), mom forums (I relied and shared heavily on Pinoyexchange and Gtalk) and mom blogs. Usually, you gravitate towards parents who share the same points of view and ideals, but sometimes, you're also intrigued by how passionate others can be in the choices they have made. Sometimes, you are drawn by celebrities, sometimes, by a voice that invokes a sense of authority.

Yes, sometimes, these moms get you shopping for things you don't really need... but they also remind you to take care of yourself.

Yes, sometimes, these moms get you questioning your parenting beliefs and styles... but they also remind you that the love, in however way it is expressed, is the same.

Yes, sometimes, these moms get you feeling guilty about your setup or choices you have made... but they also challenge you to imagine new possibilities and ways of life.

Sure, these moms sometimes just get you feeling envious of what they have or whatever is going on in their lives. Travels particularly get to me because I want to do more of that but I am limited by money (mostly). Still, these are the same moms who will also remind you how to save better, or where to get good deals.

Some of these moms make you feel ashamed for struggling every day in parenting, but they're also the first to remind you to aim at just being a good enough Mom. And you share your woes and battles and even scars... and learn from those with older ones.

What's funny is that these moms also get you wanting to have more babies when they have new ones, because that reminds you of how wonderful a gift it truly is to have a newborn. And you anticipate with them so you also sort of end up getting pregnant many times over, and giving birth a hundred times, and going through breastfeeding in the first weeks every month.

And yes, your heart also breaks each time there is a miscarriage... or a child lost. And the first thing you do is go to your child (who may or may not have annoyed you like crazy just a few minutes earlier) and hug that child, or tell that child he is loved.

Back in the day, it's a circle of female family members that served this purpose for a new mother... and it would only be great if all the ones in that circle are there out of nothing but love and a sense of duty. Unfortunately, there were enough meddling matriarchs back then that helped disempower a new mom. But not so much today... and new gen Moms like myself enjoy the choice of who to bond with, learn from, share with and grow with. The fact that we may never even meet in person does not deny us lasting friendships, and therein lies the magic.

1 comment:

JMom said...

I do envy the community that most young moms have now. I had my babies before the growth of the internet. lol!

I wish that community was present then, especially when you're up in the middle of the night worrying about one thing or other. Now, there is always someone online to commiserate with and get advice from.