Ai Designs

My friend just recently launched her homebased business. She started by offering personalized gift tags at her shop https://www.facebook.com/aiaiaidesigns. I don't think she can already offer a multitude of printing requirements and options (like online envelope printing) yet but it's really a great start and her designs are impeccably classy and uncluttered.

I am blogging about her because it has been over two years since she egged me to write a breastfeeding storybook for my birthday... and I did. But I have yet to even submit it to anybody. Meanwhile, she, without meaning to, has launched an online business already.

Talk about taking risks and realizing dreams.

I should be more like her. 

It's my biggest struggle now... coming to terms with old and new dreams and embracing the fact that I did not stop being a person with my own wishes and talents just because I became a wife and mom.

No to Formula Donations Post Maring

This post might offend others even if my intention is for the greater good and there is no malice nor judgment involved in the writing of this quick blog post.

Hundreds of families will be finding themselves in temporary shelters and evacuation centers. Donations will be pouring in. One industry that is very quick to respond to this 'need' (or say, opportunity) is the milk company industry.

But please say it with me.... FOUL!

For one thing, breastfeeding missions we have conducted post-Ondoy showed us that many of the marginalized actually breastfeed to some extent (and let's face it, those from the middle class or upper class will have relatives to go to after losing their homes to flood). It is just a matter of empowering them to do it exclusively.

Breastfeeding is imperative during disasters and emergency situations, while donations of formula will undermine a mother's capability to provide a safe food for their infant (one that is sure to protect him from common illnesses they will inevitably pick up from those evac centers) and toddler/s. Plus, formula donations can pose real health risks in such situations wherein sterile water, equipment and enough formula will not be guaranteed. It is not a joke, evacuees have used portalet water, or gathered rain just to prepare formula. This is why an epidemic of diarrhea often follows such displacement.

If you really care about those people, do read this and be enlightened how to better help: Infant and Young Child Feeding in Emergencies

Getting Kids Into Music

Yakee still has not had any formal training on an instrument yet. I want to adopt the Waldorf way of introducing that in First Grade, when he turns seven. And I will insist on a wind instrument for his lungs.

That does not mean, however, that we have not introduced him (or both boys) to musical instruments. Yakee has played with a recorder and harmonica, has broken enough drums, has a xylophone, broken two ukeleles, has played with a rainmaker and who knows what else.

These were hubs' gift to them from Malaysia... I love the marimba (the one the looks like the body of a guitar) and Yakee uses it to create background music when he feels there's a need for it. Yamee uses the drum as a drum, container for toys and step stool though. Haha.

So, in the years to come, I see our home playing host to guitars and bigger drums, maybe even a violin (I don't see Yakee playing it but can totally see Yamee doing so) or some Accordions at musician's friend for the two. Heaven knows he has expressed curiosity over harps and lyres as well.

Heaven help my ears! Haha.

City Gardener

Homeschooling and a pursuit of a healthier lifestyle has made me realize the necessity of having my own garden to pluck leaves and what-nots from.  I sometimes check out tips from the Soothing Company Blog or get helpful concoctions from Facebook sharings but I sometimes don't have ingredients handy or prefer something simpler.

Want to deodorize a house? Get free coffee grounds given away by Starbucks. And then sprinkle some on your pots so their acidity will make your plants thrive better. Include the neighbors' or the street's plants in the process.

Got the sniffles? Set up a steamer alongside your kids while they're having some tub time with some lagundi leaves (which I thank our neighbor for). And make your kid drink oregano tea (I literally bought a plant just to pluck leave from, much to Yakee's dismay), or a tablespoon of oregano extract (steam oregano some and just squeeze juice out of it).

I boil pandan leaves to perfume the house... and later on use the tea to calm me down, or flavor gelatin with. Mixed with lemongrass, it's even better tea. Mixed with kalamansi and honey and iced... it's the same iced tea now being sold by Gawad Kalinga. Haven't figured out how to make my pandan plant grow really long leaves though.

Other potential ailments can be helped by our asitava plant, and I am glad it doesn't taste awful so I guess I can season salads and soups with its chopped leaves. 

 I even use our basil plant to make basil tea...or really make pesto pasta fragrant :)

This week, I shall try to grow Kangkong Upland (because I have not been succesful with okra) from seeds. Good luck to me!

Oh, I have So Much to Say

... but since I am cramming and sleepy, let this suffice for now:

Arrived home from a date with hubs late Friday night to this:



Left my sons this the foolowing morning since I have a breastfeeding thingie:

MIL is Handy Womanny

MIL knows close to zilch about the net so she can't have possibly Googled things like  ceramic rings at LSPceramics.com to replace pump cylinders but she continues to amaze me about how Handy Manny-like she is. She can replace pumps, valves and whatever from water pumps to ovens. Her last project that bawled me over? Re-piping their entire house (she just hired me to drill the holes through the walls for her but she did all the sawing, measuring, designing and installation of  the pipes themselves) because she couldn't find which pipe is leaking. So now, every toilet in her house has a working bidet and all showers are working, and there are locks for each system should there be any repairs need to be done, thus eliminating the need to shut down the water supply in the entire house.

Brilliant eh?

I can only hope I will be half as service-able as she is. I have started with attempting to change gas tanks... haha. I have to do more and learn more because I need to set a good example for my own boys.

Hakab Na Posters

Just wanted to share the posters I made for the Hakab Na! event tomorrow at Rajah Sulayman Park. I will admit to not being very active in breastfeeding advocacy lately (missing the first ever Breastfeeding Congress even!), consumed as I am with homeschooling and better parenting.

Truth be told, I ended my day with my sons shouting... being sooo sleepy and both not settling down after almost an hour. Sigh. But I know it was my fault mostly... I have been preoccupied and not really present with them.

But I did talk to them about the event tomorrow... about being attentive to My and me so that they will not lose us, and we will not lose them. I prepped them to wearing these posters... and I had to make my own as well because they might not wear theirs if I didn't have any on.

There were also sooooo many things I wanted to say on these posters too... but ultimately, my favorite one was the one for Yakee because it is what I have always, always said: That the same God that allowed me to grow my children in my belly, then deliver them safely, has provided for me to grow them outside of me.

Happy Breastfeeding Awareness Month!

Dancing to 90's Hits

Some guy decided to go back down memory lane and record a video of himself dancing to 90's hits... which got my online community to come up with a dance number of a similar theme for our Christmas party. Haha. Because it was my idea, I was forcibly volunteered to join the dancers.

I decided to embrace it though because it could be something else for me to do to get exercise. Makes me wish I can do it facing a big, new TV on its own flat screen stand to really inspire me more! 

But I guess I will just do it with the kiddos :)  It will be our P.E. (because the arnis sticks have lost their charm a little).

Early Christmas Shopping

Thank heavens that I really need not depend on dept 56 north pole online for Christmas-y stuff... because Uniwide Coastal has an entire aisle devoted to the season. A friend of mine even spent only around P2k for a Christmas Village (with people and Christmas-y lighthouses). I got a grip, however, and bought only a few balls and bells because I told myself I better just crochet the trinkets for our tree... and make it truly our own. Good luck with that, haha.

I did buy a lot of washable markers, highlighters and decorative tapes! Not in this picture are mixing bowls and serving plate, two aqua shoes for the boys... and a foldable trolley. All we spent is P1.5k

Great bargain, if I may say so.

Breastfeeding Uncovered: An Event for Parents and People Caring for Infants

If you are any of the following:

- pregnant, 

- a mother struggling with breastfeeding,

- a mother interested to know more about breastfeeding, 

- a breastfeeding advocate hoping to be trained as peer counselor

- a pediatrician

- a pediatric nurse

- a doctor of any specialty receiving a lot of mommy patients

- health care worker

- public servant

- community leader

Then, this talk on breastfeeding by Jack Newman, MD is just the event for you.

Feel free to e-mail me at delisyus at gmail dot com to purchase early bird tickets at P1,100 (I know the poster says to e-mail info at theperfectlatch dot com... I am a LATCH, Inc. counselor and we were tasked to sell at least 3 tickets each and the only way this can be tracked is if buyers purchase tickets through a counselor). So, please help me... by helping you know more about breastfeeding!!!

Homeschooling Shopping

I'm just waiting for hubs' next salary to do more homeschooling shopping for our house. Maybe a new bookshelf, at least, for downstairs and more books. And some laboratory equipment too. Haha. I have scoured the net for sites and reviews to find the best starter weighing scales and magnet sets... so in the future, I wouldn't be surprised if I also go over reidsupply.com for tooling components for my sons.

And I must admit it's bringing out the geek in Mommy. Haha. Who gets excited at the prospect of owning a scale and weight set?!

Meanwhile, can you imagine, we have just finished our 6th week of official homeschooling? And all in all, we have kept pace with the lessons in the books I bought... but veered slightly because we tackled vertebrate groups (just finished with mammals).

Rondalla Group at Barbara's

Hubby took me on a dinner date again at Barbara's last night. We like taking advantage of groupon offerings for this particular restaurant because we really like their food and we are reminded of our wedding (because they catered to ours).

Anyway, I was mesmerized by this rondalla group that were playing there. The guitar player was really good, and together, they were all really great. The one playing the big bass guitar was a girl, and she was rocking the very large musical instrument.

I started wishing again that I can get my kids into these Filipino groups (not sure though if they would appreciate cultural dancing, as the male dancers last night seemed gay-ish to me) as part of their homeschooling. Hubs and I agreed that I can have my wish first of having Yakee learn a wind instrument (for his lungs) and then he can transition to a guitar (maybe under hubby's uncle's tutelage) before getting his dream of learning to play the guitar. So, yes... I can forego reading through gear one mv1000 review at guitar center because Yakee has yet to master a flute, recorder or sax. 

Taming My Fire

I am being more inspired by CCF and a homeschooler shared the rough draft of her manuscript on parenting gems... and for a week now, I have been really calmer.

And in just three days of choosing to follow the book's gems, I noticed a change in my kids already. A huge one. We had an exhausting weekend though and there were moments when I felt like giving in to my temper, but I still let calm prevail... and Yakee has been overflowing with positive response. So much so that when I did get angry (without shouting) last Sunday, he readily apologized and cooperated from then on.

Yamee... he is mostly cooperative :)

Most of the gems in the manuscript, I already practice and know. It was the calm that I never really aimed for, feeling I had a right to be angry all the time. So, this time, I have that for a goal.

And I am happier... because it has allowed me to manage the homeschooling better. Of course, I have much to improve on (like getting enough rest) but I am glad that now, I am feeling more empowered to manage the two. And we've had a week of blessed calm.

*~*

Yakee keeps telling me how much he loves homeschooling and how much he loves me. He is always profuse with thanks... one of the perks of really having to give of myself and my time.

Mother's Day Gift 2013

Hubs' gift to me was the Aerosmith concert. But the best thing that I was thankful for, that never ceases to make me smile and go giddy... is Yamee talking.

Sometimes, the words are very distinct... sometimes, fairly understandable... sometimes mind-boggling. But he is talking more and not just words too. Because he just repeated the "Mama, what are you doing?" phrase his Kuya was chanting earlier. And yes, he was prompted with Raisinets as incentive but he has said the words, "I love Mama/Papa" :)

Now, he even automatically says 'Thank You' :)

So... I make my cousin and sister humor me by talking to him on the phone :) I prompt him a lot but they get to hear him speak in his super sweet voice so it's worth the effort (and well, calls are free via Viber).

So.. despite the fact that he's still cantankerous a third of the time, I will admit to cutting him a bigger slack just because he is sooooo cute when he talks, babbles and sings. Sometimes, you can even sense that he is telling a story through play.

I really, really thank God for this blessing.

And yes, he signs more now too.... so communication is easier and more rewarding.

*~*

Meanwhile, Yakee is Best in Basic Freestyle and Yamee amazes his swim teacher so much, she ends up hugging him all the time. I thank God for that too... that my sons enjoy the water and that we had the means to send them to such classes.

Time for Music Lessons?

Yakee would often say that he wants to learn to play the drums. I am insisting he learns the recorder first (and with Waldorf, he'd do it by age 7 for his lungs) plus I didn't want his developing ears to be subjected to that much noise already (ear plugs notwithstanding).

Hubs and I have been discussing how we will go about this, since we live so far away from TMA/Tiendesitas to enroll the kids with their affiliated programs. I sometimes check out alvarez guitars from musicians friend (because I can't help but think that playing the guitar will go along way in fine motor development for Yakee, plus add to his appeal, haha) but I really should find tutors or centers that will teach him music the way I want him taught. In the progression that Waldorf follows (because I believe in their system).

Yakee is only five. Some say that's a good age to start lessons. Maybe we will start soon... or maybe wait.

Neglectful Momma

On one hand, by a stroke of luck... we suddenly have a new helper again. And she seems to be very industrious. Since I don't have very high expectations from helpers, I already find her a gem. Hopefully, she stays long with us and doesn't ever steal from us.

And... my cousin, who will do repairs in our home, is already here with his family. So, the boys are actually feverishly happy that we have guests :) They have not even come to me for anything since they woke up.

But... I have been a very neglectful Mom. I am consumed with this desire for time alone. PMS? Depression? Both? Sigh.

I have been a slave of my phone and tablet too... much to the dismay of the kids. Somebody bop me in the head. Part of me thinks it's because we will be enrolling soon... haha, I know, that reason again. But June is coming and expectations over results is threatening my inner equilibrium...

Breaking Mean Bones, Breaking Hearts

About two weeks ago... I heard Yamee cry in pain. I'm a mom who can differentiate cries, after all.

Yakee told me that Yamee poured hot water over himself. I saw the reddish skin. I asked Yakee to tell me thr truth about what happened, and he insisted on his story. So, I started scolding Yamee... telling him that I did tell him the water was hot (they were steaming) and asked him who got the hot water. He immediately pointed to his brother. I asked him who poured hot water over him. He again pointed to his brother. I asked him what Kuya used, and he pointed to the shampoo cap.

That night, Yakee got spanked for hurting, lying and disobeying (because I asked him to tell me the truth). He was also deprived of screen time for two days, and wasn't read to for two nights. Those were important to him so we thought withdrawing those would bring home the lesson more.

Unfortunately, it didn't.

Earlier tonight, I heard Yamee cry again... Yakee told me his brother hurt his chin on the chair. As I was comforting Yamee, I asked where it hurts so I could kiss it. He pointed to his nostril. I asked why would his nose hurt, he immediately pointed to his brother.

Yakee was profuse with SORRYs for lying and hurting his brother... and I carted Bunso away because I couldn't handle Yakee yet.

Later, when he would try to talk to me, I would just tell him I wasn't ready to talk to him. He started getting teary and asked, "You don't like me anymore?"

So... I asked my N@W support group for inputs. I wanted to heavily punish Yakee because I really didn't want him lying... plus, I felt Yamee had to be avenged somehow. I felt... I was both their Mom and had to be fair. But I also knew Yakee is only 5 and will learn these lessons in virtue in increments. What was I going to do? What was a natural, logical consequence to the lying and hurting?

My friends reminded me to use stories and extend my grace. I told hubs we should talk about the discipline first... and agreed that withdrawing privileges do not really work with Yakee, and that we're better off appealing to his emotions.

So, after bath... we spanked Yakee because we promised him it would happen when he lies again. And we do not lie. We also keep our promises. But we hugged him and talked to him. We showed him a picture of a child with a bleeding nose and discussed how we're sure he doesn't want that to happen to his brother, who he loves. We explained again that we love him and have to train him to be good. And then hubs told him I will show him what happens when he lies.

I cut up 4 hearts, wrote our names and posted them on our wall while saying... "Pappie doesn't lie and he loves Mommy best. They do not lie to each other so their hearts are close. They love Yamee and do not lie to Yamee and Yamee does not lie to them so their hearts are close. They love Yakee too but because of reasons that are his own, Yakee lied and thought only of himself... Which moved his heart away from the family."

I really  cried while doing this, and hubs took advantage by asking Yakee if he can see how sad I am because he lied... so Yakee also cried buckets while I held him. Then hubby posted Yakee's heart about 2 inches away from ours. to serve as a reminder  to our poor eldest in  the coming days of what lying and hurting does to a family. Hope it works.

We made sure to tell him we love him and that it's because we love that makes us serious and committed to raising him good.

We also cried while praying, and Pappie was hugging Yakee as our child cried. Yakee was wiping tears till I tucked him in bed.

And both of us parents couldn't sleep after.

Balik Bukid Country Fair on the 28th

Are we going or are we not going?

Sigh.

I am a little wary of the summer heat and would much prefer the November one... but I can't stop thinking of Isobel's ice cream plus the chance to just let the kids be outdoors and in nature again.




Where else can the boys play jockey without need of horse riding apparel?

Hopefully, the money I am missing was just really misplaced so that we'll have budget for this. Plus, I think Yakee would love to see old friends there.

No Way, No!

U.N. Report Advocates Teaching Masturbation to 5-Year-Olds

While I am sure this isn't as sensational as it reads right now... there are still several things that I find seriously wrong about this picture.

First... I believe in sex education but I also believe in letting children be children. I know kids go through a phallic stage but I would rather teach better gendering (how not to be so rough for boys, and how to be more active for girls) to kids rather than teach them about ideas like masturbation (unless asked). I would rather they are taught of social graces and responsibilities, rather than where to get safe abortions. 

Second... though I understand the real tragedy that is HIV/AIDS and other reproductive health issues compromising the health and welfare of women and children, I really don't think one can teach about sexual responsibility without a proper value framework. Sure, using religion sometimes turn more people off from safer sex practices and sexual responsibility BUT you really can't be tackling ideas without it being in the context of values, priorities and what dignifies a human being.

Third... I would rather parents are taught to properly address their children's questions because they then can be better parents to all their children. Wouldn't that be more cost effective in the long run as well? 

Fourth... thinking of marginalized people with no education, support and options... what would concepts mean to them? How is a child of 8 who knows about abortions be saved from premarital sex, promiscuity and abuse? All they'd know is that there is a concept like abortion and it might provide a 'solution' to whatever happened to them.

Yikes!

So, no... no way, no!

*~*

I seriously hope this isn't their answer to this GIRL EFFECT MOVEMENT

My Age Doesn't Matter Anymore

A friend posted this on FB:
In about a month, the boy and I will be celebrating our birthdays and I have to say that while turning 36 doesn't faze me one bit, my son turning 7 is a little bit depressing.

Sigh... Yakee will turn 6 four days after I turn 36. Yamee will turn three a few days before hubby will turn 37. Our birthdays have ceased to be our own because we had kids to share them with. But what my friend said  resonated so well with me.

More like, they're heartbreaking.

Nowadays, I can't seem to stop myself from saying how we don't have a baby anymore... as Yamee is all grown up (at 2) and defiant. And I look at Yakee and keep seeing the handsome man he will grow up to be, and I can't help but see visions of girls competing for his attention and loyalty.

Sometimes, I think, I even delay mentoring him because I want to preserve just a little more dependence on me, just a little more need of me. I know, it's soooo bad and mean of Mommy.

I think Yakee is feeling the growing up too... because he's been asking more and more to sleep in the big bed again, or for me to meme (caress) him while he sleeps if I wake up in the middle of the night. I think, unconsciously, he knows that babyhood is no more... at least for him.

How fast the five or so years have gone by, looking at them from here. But while living them, they felt every bit of the five years. So, it's really hard to explain the why of this sentimentality... then again, other parents will just understand. They've gone through the same.

How I Got to Raising Snails

Funnily enough, I think I forgot to clean the container today :D

I bring the boys to the market with me when I have to go, since nobody will be staying with them. One day over a week ago (or probably two), we passed by a cart filled with live snails (the local 'suso' that you cook with coco milk). The boys kept returning to the cart, amazed at the reatures so I thought I'd just get them two each and let them have their fill watching them come in and out of their shells.

Within a day, Yamee lost one of his.

After three days, Yakee lost one of his.

(and yes, it is a mystery how those snails seem to haven't died yet since there hasn't been a foul smell coming from a dusty cranny at both houses)

So, each boy now only have one snail each to call their pet. Unfortunately, they soon lost interest so I ended up cleaning the container and making sure they have fresh water and some leaves to munch on (haha, hubs said they eat kangkong so I gave them any leafy veggie we have).

When Yamee remembers them, he tries throwing cut paper or plastic in their container. More stress for me.

And yes, I don't know why  haven't just thrown them with the trash. Sigh.

I did tell Yakee that their lack of responsibility over the snails just proves to me they aren't ready for the other pets they've been asking for (goldfish, cat, dog, horse, chameleon)  :D

Sorta Hate These

 

 

  

 

Aren't my boys just positively good looking? Crazy too, yes. So, why do I sorta hate these?

 

Sigh... because these pictures show me glimpses of them in their teens... and none of the babies I used to hold in my arms.

 

They are really growing up so fast.

Wishful Thinking for Summer Programs

Summer's upon us, and homeschooling dictates that Yakee be entitled to an enrichment class outside the home... so, here I am again thinking about the things that I really want him to take up.

Baking and cooking will be a plus, because then he'd really be more helpful in the kitchen. The Waldorf mom in me doesn't want him pursuing musical insruments yet, but getting acquainted with fun ones will be nice. I don't care if that paves the way to me shopping at Kramer Guitars at music123 in the future (because heaven knows boys don't stop with ukeleles). I'd love for him to do more gardening and woodworking... and of course, he will have swimming lessons again.

I'm also thinking about soccer (but I am not sure he's ready for competitive sports) or wushu (because he at least likes to jump a lot). Arts will also be nice... and maybe theater.

But where oh where that doesn't toll on us logistically nor conflict with his swimming lessons?

The Destroyer, 2.0

There was a time it was Yakee who rendered our appliance useless. Now, it's Yamee's turn. He is done treating the cables and plugs of our TV and players as if they're some Focusrite microphone preamp system (or old phone system, if you please). Sometimes, I really dare not even look at what he's up to anymore.

It also doesn't help that he's so quiet. With Yakee before, I could always sense what he was about as he excitedly pursued his naughtiness, I mean, curiosity... with Yamee, however, he's like a stealth machine. Haha, maybe I should plug him to an amp, just so I am forewarned.

He is a two year old boy realizing all the explorations entitled him. May heaven help me. (And thank God it was the walls and floors and doors at the other house that he thought to write on yesterday).

Crochet Freak

Weirdly enough, I have found solace and quiet in crocheting. Unfortunately, such is the escape I get from it that I have been tuning the boys out. Haha.

As I got better at it, I got worse in my parenting. So... I am declaring some sort of hiatus.

 

Didn't edit the crappy composition anymore... but I crocheted this in one sitting... when I was getting stressed at the impending departure of my sister a month ago (used one of the craft balls in my stash as decor)

 

me practicing with flowers and bows coz a friend was asking if I want to tie up with her business

 

loved learning about flowers coz they're soooo easy to make and finish (better than hacky sacks!)

 

this is a water bottle holder gift to a goddaughter :)  I thought that one single flower was cute!

 

this was the glove that I tried shortscuts with... so it ended up with horrid-looking fingers :D have to completely remake!!!

 

my first official headband made

 

the second one :)

I haven't included here the scarves made from love and really achy fingers (4 in all, last Nov-Dec)... but see how my descent into madness resulted in pretty things? Haha. Ironic too that I am a mom of boys and don't really have use for these flowers.

Anyway... in my hiatus... I will happily await the arrival of these:

 

Haha.... I should have bought more solids than ombres

 

these... bought by my sister using coupons and a lot of love!

 

there was a Valentine sale at Knitpicks so these are all girly colors

Well... I figured, if I can make SOME money out of finding solace, why not?!

Men Aren't Idiots

There was a time in my life when I thought that men were idiots... that they were pretty much useless without women raising them challenging them, supporting them and lifting them up. I was that kind of 'feminist' for a while... and I 'hated' them a little bit for being 'mean' to women throughout history.

But somewhere along the way, I grew up. I started preferring to be called a humanist. I started getting to know more and more men who are great husbands and fathers and sons.

And then, I married the gentlest, most loving man ever.

And then, we had boys.

So, on one hand, I have embraced that men and women are innately different from one another. Where we lament a man's inability to multi task, men lament the fact that our efforts don't result in greatness because our concentration is always divided. Where we lament their inability to express emotions, they lament that we have made it a sport.

And then, somewhere down the line, it became cool for women to be into 'manly pursuits' (like gaming) and men pursued nurturing roles (like babywearing).

But more importantly, as friends have made me realize and pointed out... I cannot call men idiots because I married one. And I am a mother of sons who will grow up to be men, and I don't want any woman out there thinking they're too good for my sons. Because I know my sons... they are good boys and they were loved. And I struggle everyday to raise them right.

***

On that note... tonight ended horribly for us all. Both kids have been very disobedient since yesterday... there have been falls (Yamee), spanking (both), lots of withdrawn privileges... and tears... and sleeplessness.

Sigh.

If I am wrong, God, make my heart right.

Accidents Will Happen

First,  I heard the sound of a chair falling, then followed by things, then the sound of Yamee crying. Then, I saw blood on his legs and started panicking inside. Then there was more blood on his chin. I saw a spoon beside him and thought he must have fallen while playing with the spoon, and the spoon cut him up somehow.

I was ready to rush him to the hospital... silently bracing myself to take the blame for this accident... when I had the presence of mind to make him gargle. There wasn't blood anymore after the second time he spat out the water so I inspected him some more. It turned out, he cut his inner cheek and that was the only source of blood. And after wiping all the blood up, he was playing again.

He did keep whining about his runny nose, but that's all. And Kuya, feeling a little responsible (after I pointed out to him that though brothers help each other, he really musn't ask Yamee to do things he can do for himself since Yamee is younger... see, he asked Yamee to get the dropper he dropped, and Yamee miscalculated his jump) called Yamee to read to him and draw with him. He was even generous enough to let Yamee break one of the twistable crayons.

Sigh.

That was lunch. When Yamee fell off the bike that his older brother decided to pull up, I was really ready to research threaded studs and bolts and use them on my sons... or at least, my youngest.

Sigh.

Heaven knows I love both my boys and I don't want to raise Yamee with a victim complex... and Yakee with the notion that he's a hurtful, careless child. But heaven also knows how I can better teach Yakee to be more thoughtful where his brother is concerned...

A January FB Status

Most people think the sun rises from the east and sets in the west.

Most moms know the sun rises and sets from their children.

The amazing thing is both are right.

Love you my little froggy and dino... Here's to another year of striving to parent you better.

 

*~*~*~*~*

 

Little darlings, know that Mommy is always trying her best.

Breaking Down

Haha... notice the pun? Well, for a while there, I did feel a little undead... as if life has been sucked out of me.

Sigh.

I broke down and cried to hubs. I still think it was mostly hormones (got a bad headache) that resulted in kids acting up and me not wanting to deal and everything just going downhill from there. I had to spank Yakee (and make sure it hurt) for talking back because I threatened on throwing all the toys they were refusing to pack away. I admit, I have been a little permissive with the talking back, because I generally try to understand where he's coming from and keep in mind that he just needs to learn to express frustrations better. Still, and it will seem unfair to Yakee, he has to be kept in line otherwise his younger brother would follow suit... and before I know it, I might have to smack two mouths instead of one.

I texted hubs that next time Yakee does it (with malice), I will really wash his mouth and he will be banned from our bedroom for maybe two nights. That prompted hubs to go home with a feeling of dread because he thought that was happening tonight. Hahaha. Over dinner, he suggested timeout from toys but I said that it's not a logical consequence for talking back and being very disrespectful. He has to feel that I felt disrespected and hurt and such feelings resulting from his behavior will put him on timeout away from the nurturing space of our bedroom and nightly rituals.

Yakee did say sorry and we did try to process what happened... and we did end the day in a loving note.

Anyway... I broke down after looking around and seeing our home so messy and dirty and in disarray. Haha, yes, I cannot have stressed that enough. And earlier, I was also faced with having to do laundry and I just felt so tired and useless. So, I broke down.

I decided to sleep everything off and was probably asleep by 10 pm... but woke up at past 2 am. I ended up cleaning downstairs, setting things and toys to right (man, I'd love to have those video wall mounts and more hanging shelves that I need not sweep around) and making sure the boys can freely roll around the floor again later.

Sigh.

Still A Mom

Just not much of a blogging mom lately though.

I  just don't have the energy!!! Chores and policing the boys occupy my days that I even feel sometimes that I can't breathe. Sigh.

But the past few days have been better than most days, despite my eczema acting up and having to run errands with the boys to banks and payment centers. I have learned to let them settle their battles more, insist on cleanup and not shout as much. I am trying to pander to their respective emotional/moral development to make my discipline more effective.

But I think, in the end, what really helped calm me down was hubby asking... HOW DO I DO IT? Spend my days with them, with the same and different issues, attend to their needs, attend to chores, etc.

My response was... well, they have to be done and nobody else will do it.

So, I do it. Not perfectly, and not even really well. I just do what I can.

Hopefully though I can improve fast so I can really integrate more structure and homeschooling into our days.

This Domesticated Mom

After my cousin and sister left, I had to face real chores and struggle with them and all my usual nurturing/parenting tasks. Needless to say, homeschooling has really taken a backseat since I haven't found a balance between the chores and nurturing yet.

I know I have to reduce the kids' toys... not just because it will help with the cleanup if they have fewer toys, but also so they will really take better care of the toys they do have. Too much toys is like watching TV, they get bored easily with one and cannot really decide on which to play with.

I also know I have to invest in more chests and toys, because the kids now are at an age when they really need to learn to respect each other's personal things... as well as share communal properties (like the Lego).

I also have to throw more of my and hubs' things... to make room for more space, or the new toy chests.

I also have to come up with a schedule, regardless of whether my distant cousin can really work for us and help out. So that I know which has to be done that day, and my kids can follow suit. In the Little House books, there were baking days, wash day, ironing day, etc. and we should have that too. It will help them know which day is which, what food to expect that day, etc.

And then there are the things we need to invest in. I might consider raiding carpet stores for a utilitarian type to designate which will be the study area in our home and certainly more book shelves and a big whiteboard.

And sometime in the next two weeks, hubs and I would need to wash the sofa cover because Yamee peed on it a week ago. ho knows what germs are growing in the cushion now!

Now... how am I as a Mom these days? Verging on terrible, especially since my sister's departure also happened when my hormones turned. I am really struggling with my temper and have been very autoritative. I jus keep reminding myself not to allow my heart to be so distant from the kids.

Yamee is the bigger challenge lately though, more prone to not responding to instructions and striking on his own.

Heaven... help me please!

Buteyko Works

Just a quick post.

We were beset by allergies and viruses when 2012 ended and 2013 began. But Yakee recovered the fastest and didn't really need meds like Yamee and I. He's also doing great with his breathing exercises, to think we're not doing them regularly enough.

Sigh.

Thank God.

Anywayy, now I am weaning them from sweets and whatever other habits they picked up during the holidays. On to healthier living again. Hopefully, someday, when they do shop for premium cigars, it would be as gift for someone and not for personal use.

And hopefully, I can find better healers to help me raise them in health.