Friday, February 8, 2013

Breaking Down

Haha... notice the pun? Well, for a while there, I did feel a little undead... as if life has been sucked out of me.

Sigh.

I broke down and cried to hubs. I still think it was mostly hormones (got a bad headache) that resulted in kids acting up and me not wanting to deal and everything just going downhill from there. I had to spank Yakee (and make sure it hurt) for talking back because I threatened on throwing all the toys they were refusing to pack away. I admit, I have been a little permissive with the talking back, because I generally try to understand where he's coming from and keep in mind that he just needs to learn to express frustrations better. Still, and it will seem unfair to Yakee, he has to be kept in line otherwise his younger brother would follow suit... and before I know it, I might have to smack two mouths instead of one.

I texted hubs that next time Yakee does it (with malice), I will really wash his mouth and he will be banned from our bedroom for maybe two nights. That prompted hubs to go home with a feeling of dread because he thought that was happening tonight. Hahaha. Over dinner, he suggested timeout from toys but I said that it's not a logical consequence for talking back and being very disrespectful. He has to feel that I felt disrespected and hurt and such feelings resulting from his behavior will put him on timeout away from the nurturing space of our bedroom and nightly rituals.

Yakee did say sorry and we did try to process what happened... and we did end the day in a loving note.

Anyway... I broke down after looking around and seeing our home so messy and dirty and in disarray. Haha, yes, I cannot have stressed that enough. And earlier, I was also faced with having to do laundry and I just felt so tired and useless. So, I broke down.

I decided to sleep everything off and was probably asleep by 10 pm... but woke up at past 2 am. I ended up cleaning downstairs, setting things and toys to right (man, I'd love to have those video wall mounts and more hanging shelves that I need not sweep around) and making sure the boys can freely roll around the floor again later.

Sigh.

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