Monday, March 25, 2013

My Age Doesn't Matter Anymore

A friend posted this on FB:
In about a month, the boy and I will be celebrating our birthdays and I have to say that while turning 36 doesn't faze me one bit, my son turning 7 is a little bit depressing.

Sigh... Yakee will turn 6 four days after I turn 36. Yamee will turn three a few days before hubby will turn 37. Our birthdays have ceased to be our own because we had kids to share them with. But what my friend said  resonated so well with me.

More like, they're heartbreaking.

Nowadays, I can't seem to stop myself from saying how we don't have a baby anymore... as Yamee is all grown up (at 2) and defiant. And I look at Yakee and keep seeing the handsome man he will grow up to be, and I can't help but see visions of girls competing for his attention and loyalty.

Sometimes, I think, I even delay mentoring him because I want to preserve just a little more dependence on me, just a little more need of me. I know, it's soooo bad and mean of Mommy.

I think Yakee is feeling the growing up too... because he's been asking more and more to sleep in the big bed again, or for me to meme (caress) him while he sleeps if I wake up in the middle of the night. I think, unconsciously, he knows that babyhood is no more... at least for him.

How fast the five or so years have gone by, looking at them from here. But while living them, they felt every bit of the five years. So, it's really hard to explain the why of this sentimentality... then again, other parents will just understand. They've gone through the same.

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