Mec as Mom

The Gift of My Ordinary Days

2012-01-31T21:07:00.000+08:00

Warning: It might get you crying...

Although it wasn't about being a stay-at home Mom, it made me realize yet again how blessed I am that I spend most of MY waking time with my boys and vice versa. SAHMs often get lost in the redundancy of routines, in the constant demands on them to play, wipe, tell stories, etc. I know working moms are exhausted by the same when they squeeze in the time at night... but it is really exhausting (and quite annoying) to be looked to for EVERYTHING 24/7. Yes, even if they already have a sibling (and yes, a little less compared to the time I only had one child).

We often wonder if we're doing good by staying home... we often wonder if we're not shortchanging ourselves, or even our own families, by staying home. And yet, the ordinary days are really our privilege, that slow unfolding of your child. Sometimes, you don't even really notice them crossing thresholds and reaching milestones, because the baby steps are just that, baby steps. And then you wake up one morning and just marvel at how your child who used to fit in your arm is now asking you about death, giving you gifts, and hitting his brother.

Heck, you even wonder how you got from one child to two.

It's like a dream, with moments of wakefulness, this role of parent.

Educationally... Where Do We Go from Here?

2012-01-29T23:49:00.000+08:00

Since I have psyched my husband to the idea of homeschooling, we haven't really considered an alternative school for him.

Until I fell in love with Waldorf. But the idea of sending Yakee to one is a moot point since we live in Manila and the closest one to us is 1.5 hours of commute, on a good day. However, there is a Waldorf homeschooling curriculum but that would mean really veering away from the standards DepEd has imposed. I dunno, i'm not yet really sure.

Embracing Waldorf would also mean I have to backtrack a little on the things I am already doing for and with Yakee. I'd have to postpone teaching him how to read, and also maybe keep the storybooks away to focus on memorized short stories and fairy tales. We'd have to delay learning about the planets (he's already asked about them), and what makes an ms70 gold eagle coin special and definitely delay worksheets. It would be a whole paradigm shift and I am not sure if I should go there (seeing as I am attending a crash course on Waldorf Education) or just take bits and pieces of what I can use.

But more and more, the basis for Waldorf's unique academic approach is making sense to me. It has basis and keeps making sense every way I look at it. So, to take only this and that from it might end up doing more harm than good.... because part of Waldorf education's success lay in it's slow, purposeful progress from the basics.

I am just really praying for signs, and unmistakable nudges in the right direction.

Welcome Back, Regular Wardrobe

2012-01-25T00:13:00.000+08:00

On one hand, I am still happy about having invested in great nursing wear that I can continue wearing till now (though I've lost enough weight for them to be a little loose on me and not as flattering as before). On the other hand, I am looking forward to investing in very sexy lingerie again (think lace!) and tops that don't have to be accessible because my son is already over a year old.

Nope, I have not stopped breastfeeding him. But nursing him is not anymore what defines my everyday existence. He can easily be distracted now to nurse at more convenient times for me (like during the car ride to somewhere). It slowly creeps on you but you do realize that your wardrobe options encompass your whole cabinet again, and not just this few pieces that are getting a little frayed.

But yeah, I still seldom wear necklaces because my son is at a stage where he yanks everything, if not put it in his mouth.

First Three Days of Waldorf Crash Course

2012-01-22T07:59:00.000+08:00

The first three days of my Waldorf crash course with Ms. Bella and Jake Tan was very exahusting, but fun.

First, I have to use to getting up as early as 6, and travelling 1.5-2.5 hours to Del Monte Avenue. Then, there are all the lectures that require one to keep an open mind and stretch the imagination. On one hand, it tickles me pink to recognize a lot of familiar concepts and names, having come across them in my mythology and paranormal reading phases BUT to see them in Steiner's story requires a great paradigm shift.

Then, there's the art, music and movement component of it. Now, I have to tackle learning to play a recorder. Yesterday, we ended our session with clay molding (I have a chunk of clay wrapped in plastic in my bag and I don't know what to do with it). Next week, we're going to sew string puppets and tackle form drawing.

Talk about feeling intimidated and brought back to grade school.

I love my classmates though. We're a mixture of moms, teachers, community people and caregivers. There's a pregnant teacher at Kolisko who I've been dying to discuss Eden wear and babiesnbellies for maternity dresses with. There's an older one (compared to the rest) who's taking the course for business purposes 'coz they're going to establish one in Cebu, who looks like David Celdran. There's a mom to a child with ADHD. There's a clairaudience mom with a clairvoyant daughter. And then there's the assistant teacher at St. Michael who knew Yakee.

Suffice it to say I am feeling fulfilled with the course. But my sons have been acting up not having me for 3 days to care for them. They were okay the first day, but when I came home the 2nd day, I could tell from my cousin's expression that she was super challenged by the two. And when I came home Saturday night, darling hubby couldn't wait till I get past the door before telling me how his day with the kids went.

Hayyyy.

There was a fire near our street too and hubs texted me about it, but I was sorta chastising him for not giving my expressed breast milk to our son. He texted me something like, "I tell you there was a fire, and you're worried about your milk?"

Well... nobody else would understand, except a fellow breastfeeding Mom :)

Rules for Mom of Sons

2012-01-14T08:21:00.001+08:00

This is a great read for mothers of sons:
25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

I was particularly alerted by these ones:
6. Make sure he has examples of good men who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.

Apart from letting have role play as dinosaur or superhero, I have not taken the time to tell him about real men doing real good things... except maybe his Dad. And I should, I really should. Because I do want him to know about perseverance and hard work from such men.

7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.

I guess he's really such a boy because he hasn't really been interested in female cartoon characters or what-not... but I should also introduce him to strong female types, so he'd be attracted to those and learn to respect them for what they can do, offer and stand for. It does make me smile when I remember that he wanted to be a teacher at St. Michael, which suggests to me that his teachers have provided him with such loving and gentle and encouraging presence that he wanted to be like them.

8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination, and integrity.

Oh sons... this is why we threw a candy-less birthday party with storytelling as entertainment. Heaven knows I struggle everyday to be a woman of integrity, but I really want to be one. Because someday, I want you both to marry a happy woman, accomplished in her own right, who will value family life, health, nature as much or more than I do.

But I guess also have to work on being a happy Mom... and a persevering Mom. I have to be a good example in the way your father already is.

18. Answer him when he asks, "Why?"

My son has started on his WHY pahse but not yet as much as I was hoping he'd be curious. He sometimes just ask why without really asking a question, or maybe I just don't get him. But I haven't taught him where to look for answers... I have always just answered him. And while that's nice, it never occurred to me to TRAIN him into looking for answers from the right places.

23. Take him to new places

Sigh. It's a struggle to even just take him regularly to the park. And I did yesterday, knowing he has some running to do. But we were turned away from Paco Park because of an event... which resulted in copious amounts of tears from him. I apologized and explained... later on, I got sort of angry because he was scaring me with all the running he was doing while we were on the road, as he was throwing a tantrum. I offered grapes instead, and a promise to try the entire weekend.

He did settle down in the end and would even caress my head to tell me "it's okay". But yes, I should take him out more. I have to push for wonder in his eyes.

Like Some Sort of Criminal

2012-01-07T08:28:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, hubby asked why I got up at 5 AM to use the computer. I told him about a conversation the other day with Yakee, wherein he was asking me to close my computer because he "wants a Mommy that plays with him and his baby (Yamee)."

I need not mention that I was on the computer that morning because I was coordinating with my sister the purchase of Ball-Stick-Bird books for Yakee. It wouldn't matter to him anyway that I was online for him, because what matters is I wasn't facing him and Yamee.

So, now, I am up early again to do some minor blog tasks.

I guess, if he's not allowed TV time, then I shouldn't be allowed screen time as well. And it's really okay that he's forcing me to be ever more present with him. That is what I want, anyway, since we're homeschooling this year. And I want to be his joyful parent again.

Though... truth be told, I am getting sick of playing Lego. Hehe.

Goodbye to Babyhood

2011-12-25T19:30:00.000+08:00

SIL 1 (hubs' sister) showed me the stash of clothes they are donating to Sendong victims and it was a huge stash. There wasn't quite yet any equestrian riding apparel (my niece is just turning 6) but a lot of really cute, mostly pink and white and yellow, outfits were in the stash. She held onto a lot of her daughter's clothes for sentimental reasons, plus, she was thinking that I or our other SIL will have a girl who could inherit the clothes. So far, I've only managed to produce boys and SIL 3 (hubs' brother's wife) is just about to try to get preggy next year. She also told me she cried over those clothes.

Meanwhile, SIL 3 is preparing for her daughter's 7th birthday next year. I told her to put up a time capsule wall of pics, souvenirs and dresses at the party because it would really be a nice and inexpensive something to capture the years that went by.

I, on the other hand, told hubs on the way back home that this is probably the last Christmas that we'll have a baby. Yes, despite being very short-tempered already, I think it's really sad that come Christmas next year, Yamee won't really be a baby anymore.

Sigh.

Time flies so fast when you're learning how to love more and better.

Allergic Christmas

2011-12-21T18:36:00.000+08:00

Ended last week with text messages to our allergologist asking if I and my youngest could take antihistamines/decongestants for our allergic rhinitis. Mine was keeping we awake and my sinuses were so painful so I was really ready for drugs.

We were given what to take and the dosage as well as an order to steam inhalate. It kinda made me wish we have this claw foot tub that's super huge where we can all fit, and I can just steam all our sniffles away while we're all in the tub... but alas, I have to make do with sitting on the toilet bowl while watching my sons (in separate huge plastic basins as makeshift tubs).

Good thing their delight was the same.

Then, yesterday, I got a weird allergic reaction to sago't gulaman. Weird, because my lips swelled and started feeling sore (normally, my eyes notify me of allergic reactions to food). Had to take antihistamine for that.

Sigh.

Now, my fingers are all cracked again... this after 2 weeks of strong steroid creams and sleeping with my hands in socks. Hubs tells me I might be stressed... well, I didn't think I was before but I sure am now!

Hey, Christmas, I am in no Rush!

2011-12-18T04:53:00.000+08:00

Carolling and Midnight Mass has officially begun, classes have also ended for the year, and I am sure most people are on Christmas rush mode. The rest are just in stuck in traffic.

But apart from telling Yakee that we are not giving him gifts for Christmas (because we will be giving other people gifts, and yes, I guess that takes care of the Santa Claus talk too) and finally setting up our old Christmas tree (goodbye Jesse tree idea, maybe I will be more inspired next year), I really haven't done anything FOR Christmas. No shopping, no preparing, no planning even.

And now that a lot of fellowmen died (at least 440) because of typhoon Sendong, my only wish now is that THAT is the last of the typhoons for this year, and that the government has enough resources to send some sort of gusher pump to each community flooded by the typhoon, and not just let nature takes its course. I seriously don't want epidemics to plague those people on Christmas Day, much less have dengue outbreaks left and right greet the New Year in.

Are my sons shortchanged by a Mom so not in the Christmas mood? Maybe. But the important thing is they are loved and we are blessed.

The Gift of a Changed Man

2011-12-13T01:48:00.003+08:00

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (December). For this month, we want to honor breastfeeding for having enriched our lives and blessed us, maybe even empowered us, in a way that only breastfeeding can. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants."

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Breastfeeding has many benefits, all of which are gifts that I enjoy and am very thankful for. But there is one thing breastfeeding has done for me that I am super happy about... and that is my breastfeeding-supportive husband.

True, his great love for me made him support my idea to breastfeed. But this is a man who was not really breastfed, nor were his siblings. This is a man who used to still feed from a bottle when he was already attending preschool (to drink chocolate milk). This was a man who grew up used to fast, processed and junk food.

Now, why am I talking about junk food now?

Well, because a lot about how we parent our sons now stem from breastfeeding.

My husband never had to be the one to register for our first brestfeeding seminar, but he did. He refused to read "What to Expect" and yet took the breastfeeding talk to heart, raised his questions then.... and months and years later, would even correct me when I faciliate group discussions on breastfeeding.

He could have insisted on formula when our firstborn wasn't pudgy. He could have blamed my milk whenever our son got sick. But always, he'd be the first to say, "thank God, you're breastfeeding mahal."

And after that, he also came around to the notion of not raising our kids in fast, processed and junk food. He has learned to celebrate our son's lean body since he knows he's fed well (and right) and focus instead on our son's speed, smarts and general well-being.

Hubby need not go to breastfeeding events with me, but he did, and he's learned more and more. Again, my group refers to him as an honorary LATCHer 'coz he's almost as visible as I am.

We could go to just any doctor but he'd understand, and sometimes wait with me, as I consult with breastfeeding-friendly ones.

And now, at work, he's the first to tell pregnant colleagues and expectant dads to TRY breastfeeding.

I believe, the fact that he embraced the beauty and natural-ness of breastfeeding helped him open up to Waldorf education and homeschooling.

I could go on and on and on, saying basically the same things about my best breastfeeding supporter, but it will really just boil down to him being a breastfeeding dad. Someone who doesn't have issues about a running child nursing from his wife. Someone who knows he has to share and doesn't have first dibs (for now). And that is the best gift I can think of that breastfeeding has brought into my life... it did not just change me, it also changed my husband. And in his own way, he has set himself on a journey of breastfeeding advocacy.

I will be forever thankful to God for that.

Merry Christmas, you all!

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Do take the time to check out all the posts in this month's carnival:
Shaps- Beyond Being Thin
Gretchen - Breastfeeding Gifts for Christmas
Carol - The Gift of Miracle
Jenny O.- The
Gifts of Breastfeeding
Anne - The Gift of Breastfeeding
Nats - We Wish You Merry Nursing
Jenny R. - If the Magi Were Queens
Em - The "Breast" Gift
Isis- Got Milk?
Armi - Breastfeeding Gifts
Liv - My Breastfeeding Journey
Laya - Time in a Drop of Milk

'Tis The Season to be Charging

2011-12-10T21:14:00.000+08:00

... and I'm not, shopping and charging it to my credit card, that is.

You see, for the longest time, I have only been using a complementary credit card. But when I lost it, I started using the BDO credit card issued me (just because I opened a dollar account at BDO). It's the first time I am being billed for credit purchases and still getting the hang of it.

Like, when is the cutoff for purchases if I am planning my credit according to expected cash flow?

And I was waiting for the billing for this month, having forgotten that I seemed to have said yes to their offer of online billing. Thus, I have just incurred interest charges on unpaid balance. Hehe. What a painful way to learn.

I have also been intending to look into what rewards I can get and how, or where, when I use my credit card. Some banks offer free movie tickets, some offer free fast food. I just hope I can really maximize my charges and still get perks like those offered by cashmoneylife Best Business Credit Cards, definitely more enticing and useful than free pizza.

I was planning on charging anything and everything I can to avail of rewards points and establish my credit standing, but still pay off all charges when they're due so as not to incur interest charges. Hopefully, such will be the case in the coming months.

At least, within a month of using my credit card, I have already asked for my annual fee to be waived. Hubs has been paying annual fees for both our cards for 7 years now... that's around P20-30k we could have used shopping! :)

Shame on SM Management

2011-12-08T01:34:00.001+08:00

Allow mw to direct you to two blog posts concerning recent incidents wherein breastfeeding moms were told by SM security guards that they cannot breastfeed in the mall, and that's why there was a nursing station provided in their mall.

The right to breastfeed: An open letter to Sm Supermalls Management

Incident at SM Davao

When I first read about it, I really said that if the same happened to me, I'd have probably cried buckets there and then from sheer anger and offence.

The fact is, breastfeeding stations are for those who might need/want a more quiet or private place to nurse... but just because there is one shouldn't mean breastfeeding should be done ONLY there.

I heard certain buses in Davao allot seats for breastfeeding moms as well... does that mean passengers intending to breastfeed should sit there and only there?

Last time I checked too, they don't allow companions in their nursing stations in SM... what is a mother supposed to do with her husband, child, etc who are all prospective shoppers/customers?

And what of the real supermalls where there is only ONE breastfeeding station? If you were at SMX, would you really walk all the way to heaven knows where in the main mall to nurse?

I tried going to the breastfeeding station at MOA before and couldn't find it, my son finished nursing during the course of our search. I never attempted to find it again.

I also don't know if it applies to all... or just some... but SM combines nursing stations with their clinic. Apart from the complaints that the nursing stations they've seen/been into do not smell good... could you blame a Mom if she does not want to go somewhere where some stranger with bad-a$$ germs could have sat?

Breastfeeding stations are like disabled lanes, it is a courtesy an establishment extends to its patrons... not some room like a CR where you SHOULD go to DO certain things that would be really objectionable and unsanitary if done in public.

Maybe, if SM looked at a breastfeeding station not as a loss of income for allotting facilities/staff that do not generate income but as an investment in their valued customers' well-being, then they'd do things better. These moms are the ones who frequent your Baby & Company area, and if they're happy, they will buy more.

Thankfully, No Twiddling

2011-12-04T17:50:00.000+08:00

One thing I realized this afternoon while I was playing peek-a-boo with my son Yamee using my shirt is that he thankfully never even attempted to twiddle my nips for comfort. I know other breastfeeding moms who still have to put up with that even after weaning their babies...

I just really nipped any attempts in the bud, so to speak, and just held their hands or tucked their arms wherever I could, so they don't develop the habit of playing with the nipple they're not suckling from.

I guess that's why I wasn't enticed to buy a rubber necklace (or are nursing necklaces made from latex? Some, I know, are made from semi-precious stones and marble-like stuff). I didn't need it.

Maybe it made a difference that my kids are boys... a part of me doesn't want my boys running around touching other women's breasts, because they're drawn to them (and I don't mean orally).

Milk Mama Diaries for December: Breastfeeding Gifts

2011-12-02T23:17:00.002+08:00

December is Christmastime... a time of celebration, gratitude and gift-giving. To cap our first (and succesful, if I may say so myself) blog carnival year, Milk Mama Diaries' topic for December is BREASTFEEDING GIFTS. We want you to focus on how breastfeeding has enriched your life or delighted you, or maybe even changed you.

You can focus on your most favorite gift, or have a list of three (like the Three Wise Men bearing gifts) or more. Feel free to make it as personal, introspective or grateful as you want.

For those interested to join but have no idea how a blog carnival works, check my latest blog carnival entry on extended breastfeeding.

Because everybody is bound to be busy, deadline for registration to the December Carnival will be on 11 December 2011.

Interested bloggers may register here. I repeat, deadline for registration is on 11 December 2011. Posting instructions and Carnival rules will be e-mailed to all participants on December 12 and the Carnival will go live on 13 December 2011.

If you have questions or need clarifications, please contact Jenny (jenny[at]chroniclesofanursingmom[dot]com) or Mec (delisyus[at]gmail[dot]com)

*~*

Yes, if you've noticed, we finally have a blog carnival logo!

Credits for the image go to the lovely Ms. Erika Hastings of Mudspice: Mucking about in Art and Motherhood. Her original painting of breastfeeding a toddler was in autumn hues but I took the liberty of Photoshopping it a little to make it pinker, to touch on BREAST CANCER. I also decided to use the 'breastfeeding a toddler' painting rather than the 'breastfeeding an infant' one because WE ARE FOR EXTENDED BREASTFEEDING.

For those who will also notice, the words MILK MAMA looks like Angry Birds-ish and you will be right. However, I used the font because it's name is actually FEAST OF FLESH and 'us breastfeeding moms do offer our babies a feast using our flesh' :)

One of Yakee's Dreams

2011-11-30T22:59:00.000+08:00

It amuses me sometimes the things that Yakee has expressed interest in becoming.

There's the fireman.

A superhero.

A teacher at St. Michael.

Recently, it's becoming a vet (because we're reading a storybook on dog bites, and he's keen on being a doctor for animals rather than a doctor for people). Now, I don't know if Veterinarian Jobs are in demand here but it's nice that he's really attracted to nurturing roles. It gives me hope that whatever I'm doing is good enough and will pay off... and that he will learn gentleness in his own good time.

I Ration My Son, Do You?

2011-11-28T18:29:00.001+08:00

We are not super rich people. But we are still pretty much blessed materially.

One issue I have been battling with inside is rationing my son.

He likes doodling, so I provide scratch paper. I even make a visit to my former office to ask for a bound set of scratch paper which we use for drawing, doodling, painting, and making paper planes with. Even cutting. I'd seldom give him a clean sheet... even if we can afford to buy reams of paper.

And I also give him, say, 2 pages to paint on at a time.

For his coloring books... I rip a page and get him to color that page, not let him have his way with the entire coloring book. If I did, I knew he'd just swipe his crayons on each page... and then refuse to color that page again in the future.

When he's painting, I use a palette and we put paints there, and that's it for his painting session. I made the mistake before of buying the cheapie sets where every color is in the container and he'd only pour water on all the colors. So, I bought the more expensive tubed paints and just give him enough for a painting session (around 5 colors max at a time).

I don't put out all the toys given to him nor do I let him open everything. I actually feel I should work on this more because he still has over 20 toys out right now, and that's way too many toys for a child to really appreciate. He has over 24 tubs of play dough, but he can only play with 5-6 colors at a time... so the rest are still unopened, waiting their turn. And when he doesn't pack his toys away or are scattering them, they are put on timeout.

Makes one think sometimes, what's the purpose of a toy if it cannot be played with, right? But, how else do I teach him about treating things right and valuing the gift/love/work that was behind the toy?

And then let's go to food.

Do you know, I sometimes have to kick the hubs (lightly) to remind him not to give our son his share of Oreo? And that I only buy the single-serve packs... or that one roll which we have to stretch for at least two days? Yes, we do allow Yakee sometimes to have 3 cookies while we only get 1 or 2 each... but I insist that he really only has 3. Even if we can afford to let him have that entire roll. Not healthy though, and I don't mean physically.

When we have pizza, Yakee also only likes the pineapples and we do give him most of our share... but I also remind everyone not to give him all, or worse, let him eat up all the pineapples. I also insist that he eat an entire pizza, not just the pineapples. I remind him others also want the pineapples. Or the shrimps. Or the eggs.

Sometimes, I think I am mean. I've had a lifetime of 30+ years to eat pineapples... why not give all of mine to my son? Hubs thinks the same and it literally hurts him to deny his child 'more' of any food.

But... I have this great fear. I don't want to raise kids with an unrealistic notion of entitlement. It's our job to provide for them, but I want them to grow with the idea that it's their job to be careful, prudent and appreciative of what we provide.

I don't want my son to think that he can get all the pineapples and that it's okay (unless it's his own pizza). I want him to learn to eat something he doesn't like so much to get something he likes a lot. I don't want to set him up for a limitless expectation of resources without understanding yet how much work goes into providing those things... I don't want him to grow up thinking that just because he can pay for something means he also need not think of the implications (like wasted paper and trees... wasted water and well, water... wasted food and starving kids elsewhere... broken toys and wasted time and energy his father spent working, away from us).

So, yeah. When we're in the mall and my son asks me to buy something... I MAY allow it if it's food or a book, but definitely not a toy. Even if he says, "pretty please." Even if we can afford it. Even if it's only P25. Even if it's really cute.

And he can only put a maximum of two treats in the grocery cart (I don't count yogurt milk and Yakult as treat since, though it's processed stuff, it helps him poop, hehe), which is usually cookies (Ben 10 or Oreo) and Yan-Yan. That's okay since we only grocery shop once a month.

I set limits. I ration. I have learned not to feel bad about it, even if I do wonder sometimes if I am right... but the more important thing is, my heart is in the right place.

An overabundance of material things never really did anyone good... and an abundance of love includes tough love.

*~*

I just thank God that Yakee has learned to accept most of his limits. He will test them at times but generally, he knows "enough" means "enough." I also like that he trusts us when we sya there's plenty for another day.

The Scare

2011-11-22T22:53:00.000+08:00

Sunday night, Yamee was fussy and bit me on the left nip.

Later, I felt a pain and a lump. That same night, the painful lump became a throbbing mess. Then. I didn't know if it was because of the lump or purely coincidental (it could have been a virus), I woke up feeling out of sorts. Then I felt super achy. I couldn't even lay down properly because my hip bones and backbone hurt. Everything hurt and just a brush on my chest wasenough to send me shaking from pain, what more a kick to it.

I was useless, I just slept all day. My kids' clamor for attention fell on deaf ears mostly because I really couldn't attend to them. I was in so much pain, I also think there wasn't enough milk coming out of me for the most part of the day, so Yamee was super frustrated... and he vented by being more carefree than usual: standing on top of the bed's edge and other unstable surfaces, like a toy firetruck.

I literally bawled on the floor at least twice, because Yamee managed to zero in on my breast with a foot or with his head... and I even had to deny myself Yakee's hugs because I couldn't bear to be touched.

That kind of pain.

It was horrible.

Good thing I did feel better lst night, felt better again today. I am on high dose antibiotics for the lump on my breast, which is probably mastitis due to a plugged milk duct that got infected because Yamee was putting dirty things in his mouth then nursing from me.

But for a day, I think I felt how someone with a terminal illness, like breast cancer, feels... and with young kids too. Briefly, I thought, if life throws us that kind of curve ball, we really don't have the financial resources... and maybe the emotional resources. Who will take care of me and my sons, because hubs will now have to work double time? How will I manage my stress over not being able to care for my sons? How will it impact my kids to see a mom so weak and in need of care?

Sigh.

Hopefully, the meds will do their magic and my breast ultrasound next week will show the lump gone.

God, please spare this family from cancer... if not forever, at least, now that the kids are still so young. Please. Thank you.

The 30-Day Mommy Challenge

2011-11-17T01:22:00.000+08:00

A friend shared this in our FB group and I wanted to blog it so i'd remember it better... and just maybe, more moms will take up the challenge.

I'm thinking of doing it as my own Christmas countdown... for my sons. Click on the picture for a bigger, printable picture.

Source

A Good Read

2011-11-06T22:21:00.001+08:00

This blog post is a very good read because it admits to one and all that homeschooling also produces unhappy, rebellious kids.

But whether homeschooling or not, one must read this... because the point really has nothing to do with homeschooling, but more about how even the most intentional parenting can produce sad or bad kids. Reading the comments though will offer some hope that the sad, bad kids do grow up in the end and make better choices. One can hope but really, no guarantees.

I have thought about it. Either of my sons could end up researching bomb making, or finding out crazy uses for a braided metal hose, or not going to college, or ending up HIV positive, or becoming a teenage dad. I can't say I have imagined the worst things they could be doing but I have thought everything possible. That is why I have also always reminded myself that I won't homeschool out of fear (that my kids will be bullied, that my kids will be exposed to germs, or unrealistic standards and comparisons, or that they would grow up with no values, etc) but out of purpose (I want us to grow as a family together, for them to really pick up values from the home, for us to be more invested in our parenting and child-rearing, for us to be forced to spend more time together, etc).

But my children will become adults someday... and who knows how they will respond to our parenting, to future circumstance, to other cultural changes and influences. Someday, they will choose for themselves... or need to wander a little if only to KNOW that HOME is where they belong. I have to keep in mind that the rewards of the things I have chosen to do for them are in itself, and not really in some distant future (though there could be something there still).

I breastfed for the short and long term benefits... sure... but reduced cancer and diabetes risks or not, I enjoyed breastfeeding them and bonding with them that way. It enriched our relationship.

I stayed home so I can nurture them all the time, and that is the reward, the having been there when they hit their firsts, the being there when they need hugs, disciplining, and empowerment. My staying home may or may not make for happier adults but the important thing is we had a chance to spend our days together.

I am planning to homeschool even if I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility and it may make for a more or less rounded kid... but again, the important thing is that I will become more so my kids can be more... and we still spend more time together.

Because in the end, time is all we ever get... and get to give. And time together with my kids will always be priceless.

One Brother

2011-11-05T00:04:00.000+08:00

While checking out our scanner software because I have a lot of scanning and printing to do for the boys' party, I chanced upon this quote and just had to scrap it. Yes, I was also downloading digiscrapping kits... I always multi task after all, or try to. Anyway, I got goosebumps reading the quote and thought about how i'd love for my boys to be each other's keeper... and to think of each other as so unique and so indispensable and necessary.

No one else will be like their brother.

So, I scrapped away... then checked out the rest of the song. Yikes. It seems to be some sort of eulogy to a departed brother. But somber mood aside, dead or alive, I still want Yakee and Yamee to think the world of each other.

I have so many wishes for my kids... but this one is sooo close to my heart. Because... it would mean we've really raised them with the idea that love gets multiplied... not divided between the two of them.

Shooting for the Benefits, Extending the Love

2011-11-04T06:46:00.066+08:00

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (November). For this month, participants share their experiences on extended breastfeeding. This includes tips to moms with young babies, as well as barriers and myths which discourage extended nursing. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants."

Studies show that for mothers and babies to enjoy breastfeeding benefits like reduced cancer risks for both, they have to be breastfeeding for at least two years.

There was no question in my mind that I would go the full two years... at least. I only stopped after two years and four months with my first because I really believed breastfeeding was keeping me from getting pregnant so I weaned him. True enough, after a month of weaning, I got pregnant again. But I digress.

My son was already signing, running, singing, dancing, performing a multitude of other antics... and still breastfeeding from me. The hardest part of it was that he became so long for my lap. But after the first year, it was really almost a breeze.

I did not require breastfeeding bras anymore, nor breastfeeding-friendly tops... because I could just feed him in the car on the way and not bring my girls out anymore during an event. I did not have to hurry home or pump milk for him because he could already drink fresh milk if he so wished while I am away. He did not need to nurse as often anymore, so I also felt my body was my own again (maybe... 70% of the time?). And in the few occasions when he asked for milk in public, I had no problems cradling him in my arms and giving him that comfort.

What's more, it was still the easiest way to shut him up if I needed peace and quiet.

And best of all, breastfeeding continued to provide the sweetest moments of our days... hugging each other that way, smiling at each other with faces that close. The challenges of having a toddler were always offset by those moments of calm and gentleness.

Now... my second boy is turning one year old next week. I plan to breastfeed him till he's maybe 3 because now, I am invoking the contraceptive effect in me (note: breastfeeding as a family planning method is only really effective in the first 6 months, if exclusive breasfeeding and menses have not yet returned). Plus, if he's my last child... I think I'd really want to prolong this kind of intimacy. Somehow, I think babyhood truly ends when they stop depending on their mothers for some sort of physical need.

My advice to other breastfeeding moms who cannot imagine lasting as long... just take it one day at a time. Wean when both of you aren't benefitting from the relationship anymore. Smile when strangers cast you a questioning look when you're breastfeeding a child that, just a minute ago was running faster than they're walking... after all, in your arms lay one of the most beautiful creations in this world, and he is entitled to his mother's love.

*~*

Please visit the rest of the entries for this month's carnival

J and the Three Boys - No more "de-de"

My Mommyology - My Extended Breastfeeding Experience

Mommyluscious - Breastfeeding for Two Beyond Two

Truly Rich Mom - On Extended Breastfeeding (a perfectly normal thing to do)

Life of a Babywearing and Breastfeeding Mommy - Still breastfeeding after 2 years

Got To Believe - Breastfeeding Room Story

Apples and Dumplings - My Constant Challenge with Extending Breastfeeding

Mommy Kuwentos - Challenges and Rewards of Extended Breastfeeding

The Odyssey of Dinna - Nurturing Rafael: Extended Breastfeeding, Stretching Some More Lovin'

Legally Mom - Breastfeeding Beyond 1 Year: Barriers and Issues

Homeschooling Mommy - Yes, I've Got Milk

SOlovelyN - As long as he wants, I can

Touring Kitty - Extended Breastfeeding is Possible

SassyBiatcheMom's World - 1.4 and still breastfeeding

Mec as Mom - Shooting for the Benefits, Extending the Love

Chronicles of a Nursing Mom - Barriers/Myths vs. Extended Breastfeeding

The End of Play School..

2011-10-29T01:15:00.001+08:00

... hopefully, only for the year.

We knew when we enrolled Yakee at St. Michael that he'd only go till October. That will buy me time to just be Yamee's while he gets social interaction... and then party season will be distraction enough for him so that a regular class would be unnecessary.

I was considering letting him go back in January... but if i'm going to pursue the Waldorf crash course, that just won't do because nobody will be able to bring him to and from school.

So, maybe we'll just really enrol Yamee in the parent-child program and let Yakee go back again in June-Oct. Then again, that will depend on how our homeschooling is panning out, as well as his other classes... and maybe where we live (for I am hoping that we'd still get to move soon). I know we're still far from endeavors like whether to buy garmin chirp or not for geocaching, or investing in a heavy duty telescope to really observe stars, or going on immersions in far flung places with no clean water or toilets... but the challenge ahead is stressing me out. Before, I felt I had so much time left... but now, the time for more structured learning is here because he is already 4 years old.

Anyway, term ended for them yesterday and they all went home with Shoo Fly insect repellant and a sewn pumpkin holder for 2 apples. The Jap moms are urging me to enrol Yakee again because their kiddos are fans of my son... and they got Leah to hug Yakee goodbye.

Awww.

I really wish Yakee can hang out with them again and again and again, even if not that regularly. I was thinking of inviting some to the birthday party but the Jap moms would be in Japan. Hehe.

Milk Mama Diaries for November: Extended Breastfeeding

2011-10-25T11:21:00.000+08:00

Babies up to one year NEED milk as their main source of nourishment but after that, they should be getting most of their nutritional requirements from solids. For November, however, we want to give a nod to those who aimed to extend their breastfeeding relationship even when their babies could already drink regular milk (or none, because it's calcium they require, not milk).

=============

Thank you for joining the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival for November.
Theme is Extended Breastfeeding and participants are asked to share their experiences in breastfeeding their toddlers (past 12 months) as well as their tips to moms with young babies. Participants can also talk about barriers to extended breastfeeding as well as myths or comments they received from people around them.

Please fill up the form here to join. Deadline for registration for the carnival is on November 2, 2011. Posting instructions and Carnival rules will be e-mailed to all participants on November 3 and the Carnival will go live on 4 November 2011.

If you have questions or clarifications, please contact Jenny (jenny[at]chroniclesofanursingmom[dot]com) or Mec (delisyus[at]gmail[dot]com) :)

Rewarding Field Trip Day

2011-10-24T21:42:00.000+08:00

I want to blog more about it, with pictures and story bits, but I can't let the day pass without saying that we had a blast at the field trip to Malvarosa Orchid Farm in Malvar, Batangas.

I don't know who had a better time, the kids or the adults. The adults enjoyed lazing around in hammocks and eating organic food, away from work stress and social ecommerce, while the kids frolicked in the background. Plus, having all the kids together was an exercise in every-minute cuteness as we saw how each tried to behave their best. Snippets of conversation were all so adorable.

The kids loved vegetable picking, animal petting, and water play. A day at a farm was just really a perfect opportunity for them to appreciate food preparation more, as well as farming, seasons, readiness.

And I am really loving STAR Tollway despite the huge fees because it took us just over an hour to get to Malvar... both ways.

First Field Trip Coming Up

2011-10-20T09:33:00.000+08:00

As an end of semester thing at St. Michael, the kids (with interested parents) will be going to a farm in Malvar, Batangas next week. Hubs even went on leave just so he could join us. The kids are likely to get dirty trying their hands at gardening, fishing, produce picking and riding a carabao... aside from just having heacters of open space to run and play in.

I am stoked!

This will be our first official field trip, haha.

Someday, we'd probably do more of this as we homeschool. Then, further down the road maybe, hubs and the boys will be pouring over Polaris Ranger Accessories and going to those rough roading events... or we'd really be joining triathlons... or we'd all be climbing mountains... or lazing around in Marinduque watching the fishermen haul in their catch for the day.

Outdoors. Physical activity and the outdoors. I am really excited!!!

*~*

Of course, this being a Waldorf escapade... I can't exactly pack the usual baon, hehe.

But the fee we're paying covers two snacks and lunch... how cool is that? It's only P320 for adults and P200 for kids!

Mommy is Crazy

2011-10-19T21:50:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, my brother-in-law started calling Yakee "crazy dog" to which Yakee would call him back "crazy duck." For hubby's siblings, anything that's funny, silly, mischievous, etc. is CRAZY. It's become a common expression for us all.

So, imagine my chagrin when walking from school one day, Yakee's classmate calls my son "crazy duck" in front of her mom. The mom gently corrected her child and I, of course, apologized and explained. The good thing was, the girl only called Yakee crazy, nobody else.

I didn't want Yakee to attach something negative to what has become a weird sort of endearment for him and his cousins... so, I told him that only members of our family can be crazy. I further explained that other people might not understand what CRAZY is, so he has to stop telling others they're crazy. I told him to tell his friends instead, "you're funny" or "that's cute" or "wow, cool!" :)

And then the same Mom tells me today that her daughter told her, "Mommy, Iakob's family is crazy." She had to ask her daughter to not say such a thing. I had to apologize and explain again and she did acknowledge that her daughter was just reporting something she heard, not making a judgment.

But there you go. Mommy is the crazy one for thinking CRAZY would stop having a life of it's own. Sigh.

I Did Not Shop

2011-10-17T14:45:00.000+08:00

An e-mail containing a list of sale scheduled last weekend was sent in our Yahoogroups. I checked it and bit my lip but willfully did not go to any. Even the one at my second home (Robinson's Ermita) where Accessorize was offering their cute accessories at 30% discount. I wasn't looking for transit token cufflinks or anything as fancy, just matching necklaces and earrings.

But my material whims have to wait till after I have spent on the birthday party and found money for the Waldorf crash course I want to take.

Heaven will provide and I am keeping the faith.

Besides, I still have all the fabric I bought to be turned into nice outfits!

Classes Suspended

2011-10-13T10:49:00.000+08:00

I spent more time than I should looking for announcements whether classes were suspended for the day due to a typhoon signal. I am not subscribed to those sites yet, you see. I should have checked my phone first, though, because St. Michael has been nothing but prompt about such advisories.

Anyway, being affected by typhoons and hanging onto DepEd's words are really things I know I won't miss when we start officially homeschooling. Of course, this also means that rain or shine, I am stuck with teaching my son whatever is on our lesson plan. But at least, I don't have to wake up a perfectly sleeping child, feed and dress him up, only to be turned away or sent home at the school gate.

Hopefully, though, the homeschooling thing will really result in me being able to foster creativity in my son. I certainly wouldn't mind if he's blogging already by seven or eight years old, and coming up with real creative stuff (and grow to be like this blogger Timothy Ferriss, who is all about creativity, making money and living a positive life). Who knows, maybe we could make a tag team of our homeschooling blog.

Meanwhile, classes are suspended and Yamee is reeling from the excitability that is his older brother, and I am running out of ideas to occupy the older one.

I will find more energy soon. Yes, I will!

Birthdays Done, Birthdays Due

2011-10-11T03:39:00.000+08:00

My birthday happened without fuss nor fanfare.

Yakob's was spent at the Disney LIVE show and a weekend at my in-laws.

It was relatively a quiet week, and Yakee is a little richer in toys, I, in fabric.

Now, I am gearing up for last minute shuffling of expenses for the birthday party in November. After I finish all the things I have to buy for my sister and my Mom, I hope to finally shoot the photos I'd need and use for the invites and tarp... and have those sent out/printed.

And then I will track the street sellers I want to contract for the party, to save some money and get the products I really want.

And I will finalize my wardrobe (naks) :)

And I need to think of a nice surprise for my hubby, who is such a hardworking provider, lover, friend.

Wish me luck, energy, creativity... and always, a thankful heart.

My Hands and My Sons

2011-10-10T22:55:00.000+08:00

One thing I have been really sad about ever since eczema stuck my fingers is that I don't always enjoy holding my sons... because sometimes, it's too painful even to just hold hands. Yakee would even say, "Ouch Mommy, you're hurting me with your finger." because the dry, scabby skin would be rough on his face.

It was only lately, after taking antibiotics, when I started not feeling itchiness in my fingers and they got healed enough for me to actually enjoy caressing my sons to sleep again.... so I touched them all the time. But yesterday, the itchies were back. And now, the itchy bumps. Sigh. Soon, my fingertips will be cracking again, I just know it.

I don't know if it was something I ate, or if we need to have some water softener on top of the gentlest cleansers.... of course, I am hoping the eczema isn't here to stay.

Sigh.

I don't want my sons growing up with the notion of their mom having rough hands... not really for vanity. I want them to grow up liking being touched by me, and nobody really likes being touched by rough hands. Especially when the fingers seem like they're about to burst and ooze infection on you.

Hay.

I shouldn't get depressed over the possible return of all the itchies but I am. I so miss being able to enjoy my hands.

==============

While washing Yakee's face:
"Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a teacher at St Michael"

Napa-awww... and napa-kiss naman ako talaga!

That is a testament to how loving his Titas are at school... that he thought to be like them.

Michaelmas at St. Michael

2011-10-05T14:56:00.000+08:00

I really didn't think of bringing a child last night to St. Michael for Michaelmas/Parents' Night. I assummed they said the kids can be accommodated in the play school because there are whole-day students there who might as well stay there while their parents socialized upstairs.

It turned out, even former students were brought by their parents. Yikes. I so felt guilty to see Yakee's friends all there and a wonderful storytelling setup... and no Yakee.

I also told myself I needed the time away from my boys, what with my meltdown moment on the night of my birthday when I couldn't put them to sleep. Plus, I also didn't want Yakee excited at night anymore only to not settle down for bed again.

But again, I felt soooo guilty. I also almost quarrelled with hubs for trying to tease me about it. Sigh.

Anyway, it was a beautiful parents' night. Now, hubs and I need to be deciding on what's next for Yakee. We are still a long way from pondering the merits of Physicians & Surgeons Jobs (because we hope one of our sons would want to become a doctor) but in a way, it's really more crucial. omeschooling, a more structured one, can already start for us. But where to send Yakee for his socialization and physical activity needs?

Less Internet Time With Phone

2011-09-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

Half the time, I really don't turn on this laptop anymore. I just check mails and Facebook on my phone, so I won't be tempted to mindlessly surf for hours.

But since I hate typing on my Android phone, I also tend to keep my phone surfing short. Plus, it just won't do for a stay-at-home Mom to be intent on a gadget with a toddler going up the stairs to follow his older brother. More importanly, to them, I am just looking at some gadget. Even if I was working (and I'm not), all they'd see is I'm glued to a gadget.

So, I have about 2-4 five-minute checks on my phone during the day. And then I just attend to the Smilebox.com invitation
and send attachments at night, when the boys are asleep already.

Hopefully, I can cut short my night time surfing as well... but lately, I am just soooo into clothes!

*~*

Got my period back today. Goodbye to lactation amenorrhea. Twas fun while it lasted.

How Protected Are You, SAHM?

2011-09-26T22:08:00.000+08:00

Recently, a hot topic in my ygroups was brought about by someone's two woman friends who were suddenly left by their husbands, without money of their own. This was a wake-up call to all, especially to one-income families like ours.

We trust the husbands we married, after all. We cannot imagine them falling out of love. Some will also never think of losing them to diseases or accidents. But the truth is, its not just separation or a debilitating illness that can throw a family's financial standing into chaos.

What if my husband loses his job? What if some tragedy happens? (I am writing this on the 2nd anniversary of Ondoy)What will happen, then, to a woman like me who has kids to support?

Hubby and I have always made sure we have enough money to cover a few months of him without work, that is our insurance cash. Then, we have some savings that's also available cash. Then, we have an insurance plan too.

But that's not enough. I have realized I have really failed myself the most when I didn't make income generating part of my days. I do not regret staying home and quitting my job, but I should still have continued generating income.

I have, in some ways, but I have not made it a priority. I should, though, if only to have my own money... or if only to have that extra income to fall back on. Plus, if I really want our own house, being a stay-at-home Mom shouldn't mean I shouldn't contribute to the purchase of it.

Sigh.

I know we should start checking out annuity rates online again. And I should make it a priority to update my insurance records to ensure my husband and kids are named beneficiaries. And I should be more actively earning from my online/writing gigs.

It's not just about the money. It's about being empowered, it's acquiring skills, being in the loop and taking care of my self-concept. Plus, it would also help me not to overanalyze my home situation and get my validation only from my family life.

Biblical Spanking

2011-09-24T21:21:00.001+08:00

As much as possible, I hate spanking but sometimes really feel that I have to do it.

Then, a friend's daughter asked her why she was spanking her if she loved her. That got our group talking about spanking and one of us found this blog post on spanking. She's the wife of the guy who I heard talk on spanking before at a Mommy Academy event and it was great to have this resource handy.

So, I started spanking more. For any outright disobedience.

The problem was I could never find a spanking rod so we used a big wooden spoon's handle. Unfortunately, although it didn't have sharp edges, Yakee bruised easily.

But I persevered, even if it pained me. And I spanked when angry only 1/4 of the time. That is progress.

For two weeks, I'd keep feeling brokenhearted over Yakee's marks on his behind. I didn't spank him everyday, but there were days I had to spank twice. I just gritted my teeth about the whole thing and made sure we followed the process. In fairness, Yakee would try to escape the spanking but would remind me that talking goes first, and hugging comes next.

And for several days now, I feel our relationship is actually better. And I could talk to him better and get him to cooperate better. He's more behaved, more helpful, doesn't throw tantrums as much and is somehow more open to meeting me halfway.

I am glad... and hopeful.

I really must keep changing and be more consistent to become a better Mom.

Mom with Android Phone

2011-09-15T09:01:00.000+08:00

I am super proud at being able to adjust to an Android phone.

It wasn't easy at first, you know, because I now have to text using both hands again and have to do it more slowly because of all the auto-suggests. And weirdly enough, the Sun signal is poorer in my new phone.

But it allows me to Facebook without having to open the laptop, which also means that I don't end up getting lost in the cyber world so much that takes away time from my sons. It's like I'm just texting for a minute or two and I'm there again with them!

Literally, I am feeling like such a gadget-savvy Mom, haha.

Which is why I am thinking of taking my son to the launch of Vibal's Chikiting storytelling at the MIBF tomorrow... yes, a Tablet with HDMI just may be in our future. It may be a useful tool in homeschooling, after all.

Christmas Is Just Around the Corner...

2011-09-06T21:30:00.000+08:00

... but it has to wait till after we've thrown a birthday party for the family. I have even teased family members that they should think of parent gift ideas too since it's not just Yakee and Yamee celebrating their birthdays at the bash.

Sigh.

I swore last year that we'll have a wonderfully trimmed Christmas tree this year, one that is tall and proud and laden with lights and decor. But now that it's upon me, I am not so sure I have the energy (and budget) for one. But we still have to have some sort of tree this year. I must be resourceful.

Other things have to be attended to, like establishing routines and new habits for each one of us so that we can make homeschooling work for us next year.

I should also really master a routine so I can mark hours just for work... because I have to earn. Our bills are piling up and our desires for our sons continue to multiply.

Christmas is just around the corner... I trust blessings are too.

Resistant to New Phones

2011-09-05T00:32:00.000+08:00

I still have my Smart phone, bought 2005.

And I am still actively using my Sun phone, changed in 2007, I think.

I have had many opportunities to change phones. In fact, I have two other more hi-tech phones that are just gathering dust here in the house. But I am resistant to changing phones... mainly because I dislike transferring cell numbers (for cases wherein you can't migrate all of your contact info) and because I save text messages. Plus, I really don't think I need something high-end since I mostly really just text, seldom use my phone to take pictures and really don't want to invite more internet time in my life by having Wifi.

So, my Sun phone currently has some 1,000 messages in it that I am holding onto. But hubs, out of frustration from having lost his own Sun phone, got me a new one instead. He said it's time for me to finally have my own Android phone (if only to play Angry Birds in) and master using touch screen tenchnology.

Sigh.

So, now, he has the assignment of looking for a software so I can at least save my text messages as document files...

Sigh.

But I guess it IS time to make that change.

I Survived Hong Kong

2011-08-29T14:36:00.000+08:00

I had doubts, honestly. At the last minute, Yakee was still having some fever and we had to bring him to the ER for an ear infection scare. We also had to bring our non-portable nebulizer with us to Hong Kong.

And the lack of sleep, the late check-in time at our hotel, the walk to Harbour City... all those just really made me want to hibernate in the hotel with the kids.

But though we had to skip Ngong Pin and didn't really get to go around Hong Kong island much (or eat at Jollibee Hong Kong)... and I didn't get to go to Linea Negra as planned... we still survived the trip to two amusements parks and only Yamee seems to be the worse for wear. He's down with colds. But there hasn't been any major meltdown yet.

My roaming got busted so I really had to stick to hubs all throughout the time. Good thing I am no career woman who needed conference call services while on vacation (and good thing hubs also was spared with a lot of work-related problems). We usually got back to the hotel at around 12 midnight so the kids were really exhausted... and I normally wouldn't be able to sleep from exhaustion.

But again, we survived. I survived. I am now starting to tell our tales.

Yey!

Lost Episode

2011-08-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

It's probably one of the top things a parent is scared of... losing a child. I like to believe I keep an eye out for Yakee most of the time, and have impressed on him time and again how important it is for him to stay close.

Unfortunately... he will test his limits.

While atShopwise earlier, I saw him already making a game of sorta hiding from me by walking in the middle of displays where the goods will hide him from me. He liked that I would have to wait for him to become visible again before I proceed to where I intended to go. I didn't lose my cool but I reminded him to stay close.

As I was checking out bread, I told him again not to wander off. But I think he did the hiding thing again just when I walked around a bread counter and bent forward to check out more bread.

He must have missed me, panicked, and walked away (in the direction of his right) looking for me.

I remained calm, mostly because I was still in denial about him wandering off. But I was already pondering whether I should inform hubs already. I asked the guard nearby if he saw a child matching Yakee's description and gave instructions that should he do so, to hold onto the boy even if the boy tries to get away (him being a stranger).

It was a lucky thing that Yakee didn't wander off outside the grocery (we were at Harrison!) and most shoppers were probably family people. In our prayer tonight, Yakee said thanks that a man found him and told a woman to help him find his Mommy (I am assumming, a husband and wife). They were assisted immediately by a grocery clerk and I ran into them as I was passing the cash registers as I checked each aisle.

Yakee was crying but he still kept on eating his popcorn. The clerk commented that they found him crying but he never stopped eating popcorn.

Yakee cried and cried and cried while holding onto me. Then I carried him while I scolded him (and scared him about how some bad person could have taken him and he may never see us again and vice versa). I informed the guard about having found him, and proceeded to talk to him again about how easy it is to lose each other... and how, if he doesn't mind my reminders, I might lose him in HK (I also added that nobody will help him because they won't understand English, bwahahaha).

Sigh.

I need to brush him up on situations like this one.

*~*

If it had taken longer to find him, I think I'd have run away too!

Pre-Natal Pediatric Consultations Are Necessary

2011-08-17T23:42:00.007+08:00

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (August). For this month, we join the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action in it's "Talk to Me!" theme where participants will share personal experiences, insights or recommendations in communicating breastfeeding intentions and goals to their support system. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants."

First of all, I was lucky. I had a husband who did not even question my breastfeeding intentions. In fact, he was even the one who called LATCH to reserve slots for us at the first breastfeeding class they ever held (back in Malayan Plaza, March 2007). This was before LATCH's partnership with The Medical City, that offers free breastfeeding classes to would-be parents, began.

And my mother-in-law couldn't raise any objections about my breastfeeding decision either, because her own daughter would do it for four years. And my Mom, though she encouraged me to mix feed so I can still continue working, was already based abroad and didn't have much say in how I lived my family life.

So, again, I am lucky. If there were people who tried to undermine my decision to breastfeed, it was doctors who I saw for sinusitis and allergy attacks. But I knew enough not to listen when I didn't need to. I was empowered.

Which brings me to the title of this blog post.

It is not common practice here in the Philippines to 'shop' for a pediatrician before giving birth. However, aside from the fact that you will see your pediatrician more than you will ever see your gynecologist, and you will entrust to a pediatrician the most precious thing ever in your life (your kids' health), a pediatrician also has much influence over your parenting.

And that is where breastfeeding comes in. It is a parenting choice, not just a feeding option, for it will require a certain lifestyle, a degree of commitment, and a lot of compromises and sacrifices. And if you're a first time parent who do not know any better, you can easily be scared, swayed and undermined.

In my experience, many first-time moms ask "They say my milk will come in after a few days from the delivery, so what will my baby feed on till then?"

Imagine if all pediatricians (and nurses) tell these new moms to have their babies latch as soon as possible because 1) they have colostrum to offer and 2) direct feeding is the stimulation required for the flowing, mature milk to come in.

Imagine if these moms who want to breastfeed are supported from Day 1 by their pediatricians, instead of being charged formula at the nursery where their newborns stayed.

Imagine if pediatricians didn't just check your baby but also met with the parents and talked about newborn care.

And so, I hope, aside from looking for the right gynecologist, or hospital to give birth in, would-be parents would also exert a lot of effort in finding a breastfeeding-friendly pediatrician before they give birth.

Would-be parents can ask for referrals from trusted people (family, friends, their gynecologist, or in this internet era, cyber experts). They should arrange for a consultation and expect to pay the usual PF charged by the pediatrician. And they should ask their questions, after all, they are paying customers.

It would be more prudent to just tell the doctor that you are looking for future pediatricians that you can work with. Then, express your desire to breastfeed. Proceed maybe by asking them about the breastfeeding practices in the hospitals they're affiliated in, or whether they had breastfeeding training.

These two links also provide questions one can probably use, although I feel some of the approaches suggested may be too forward for our culture.

Finding breastfeeding-friendly pediatricians

Choose a breastfeeding-friendly pediatrician

Other tactics that you can use is raising other concerns to indirectly raise the issue of breastfeeding, like:

* Doc, I am really anxious about feeding my baby. What can I expect the first few weeks? What happens when I go back to work?
(if supplementation with formula is given as a ready option, then you might as well assume that any complaint from you of sore nipples or exhaustion or colds will also result in the same 'solution' from that doctor)

* Doc, we have a strong allergy history. Are there things I can do to reduce the risks of my baby getting them?

* Doc, I want to breastfeed. I'm just wondering though what scenarios will be deal-breakers with that desire?

* Doc, if it's a given that the baby is healthy, how long before you allow such baby to be roomed-in?

* Doc, what are your thoughts on co-sleeping?

* Doc, I believe some newborn babies cry a lot. What are the common reasons for that?

Yes, indirect may work better for us Pinoys... plus, you get a greater sense of what a doctor stands for that way, instead of asking questions answerable with a yes or no.

Bring your spouse/support system in this 'shopping spree' and really try to get one you know you can trust and will work with you, not against you.

I have heard enough stories of pediatricians commenting that a breastfed baby was underweight or small for his age... but most are actually referring to the wrong charts or paid to push certain formula brands.

Let's keep these doctors on their toes. Make prenatal pediatric consultations a top priority during pregnancy and reduce, if not totally eliminate, those moments when you'd be made to feel as if you're not doing enough for your child just because you chose to breastfeed.

And once you've chosen your pedia, include him/her and your brestfeeding intentions in your birth plan.

*~*

Other participants to the carnival include:
Apples and Dumplings: Communication and First Time Breastfeeders

Dainty Mom: Creating a Pro-Breastfeeding Culture in the Family

Truly Rich Mom: Truly Rich Tips (esp. for moms) - How to get others to support you in breastfeeding

On breastfeeding: Say it, claim it, get support!

EthanMama: My Best Breastfeeding Support System — My Husband

TouringKitty: Communication through Breastfeeding

Escie's World: Ready, Get Set, Go! for Breastfeeding

J and the Three Boys: I'm breastfeeding, and that's that.

Nanaystrip: BreasTALK : Text, Retweet, Share your Knowledge and Experiences

PenpenEspie: A Shout out to My Breastfeeding Buddies

Project Blog by Kate: Talk and Make It Happen

Newbie Wife: How I Taught the Family to "Breastfeed"

Chronicles of a Nursing Mom: Effective Communication Bucket List

Go Help Yourself: “6 persuasion tips for breastfeeding moms and advocates”

Mommy Kuwentos: How I recruited my top breastfeeding buddies

Handy Mommy: Communication Decision

Dinna: Making It Known

Legally Mom: BREASTFEEDING TALK BETWEEN ME AND MY FORMULA-FED DAUGHTER

1 Week Before Hong Kong

2011-08-14T22:01:00.000+08:00

A week before we leave for Hong Kong with hubs' family and... Yakee and I are still medicating (and he is still really coughing!), I still suffer from post-nasal drip and Yamee has a fever and refuse to eat.

What a happy lot, eh?

We also still haven't bought extra batteries for our cameras (and I can't quite locate my waterproof cam's battery charger) and I haven't decided yet on whether I would put my Sun phone to roam or just use a spare Samsung phone (I wonder though if samsung cell phone batteries will stand longer in HK's humidity compared to Nokia's).

I have not purchased new clothes, nor have we checked the luggage bags we intend to use. I have not mapped our proposed IT in Googlemaps yet too.

I can actually go on and on... I guess I am being complacent because I have been to HK before and it's a very family-friendly toursit destination where English is spoken. But still, cramming starts tomorrow... officially.

Tonight, I deal with internet obligations.

Grown Ups

2011-08-12T19:14:00.001+08:00

I watched Grown Ups (Adam Sandler movie) last night and was really entertained. More than that, it reminded me so much of my hubs' HS friends, who we often see over kiddie birthday parties. The repetitive reminiscences and references to their years together at La Salle Zobel, the things our kids get into when they're together (if my son would only remember, he'd say, the girls terrorize him since there are more of them and they usually refuse to play 'with a boy'), the desire to see your child playing outdoors... all those from the movie appealed to me.

Sigh. It's good to have your kids grow up with the kids of your friends. It's like getting extra cousins.

Antsy Yamee

2011-08-09T02:12:00.000+08:00

I just tell myself it's another growth spurt season... but Yamee has taken to acting up during bedtime which necessitates me outting him to sleep downstairs so that his older brother and father could sleep.

This, in turn, means I get to watch a lot of TV. While I now know that Newell does rv repairs and upgrades, and that there is a hotel in Camboadia that takes in only one set of guests, and Andrew Zimmern first knew that ice cream is eaten IN/with bread by Filipinos... it also means I snack a lot (because I breastfeed more) and sleep less.

And yes, I know, I watch a lot of TLC.

Oh Yamee... please settle down to a happier normal. And stop propping yourself up in a standing position when Mom isn't looking... unless you're willing to do it in your pen. It's quite dangerous for you to be doing that unattended, you know.

Sigh.

Milk Mama Diaries - Blog Carnival for August

2011-08-08T02:00:00.001+08:00

August is Breastfeeding Month so although we've only held a breastfeeding carnival last month, we are doing it again!

For our topic, we will be adopting the theme Talk to me! Breastfeeding - a 3D Experience" by the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action (WABA) on a more personal level.

We will deal with communication, as the third dimension in breastfeeding support. So, for the blog carnival, we want participants to blog about how they communicated their desire to breastfeed and/or breastfeeding goals to their support system.

Maybe you have an interesting story about how you informed your husband. Or tell us how you enlightened your parents and well-meaning friends, or taught your nanny to handle expressed breast milk instead of preparing formula. How did you reply to those challenging your decision, your child's weight gain, or any of the myths surrounding breastfeeding? How did you talk to your doctor/s or boss/es and had them accommodate your breastfeeding decision? Do you have tips? Share!

Read my July Carnival post to get an idea of how a blog carnival post looks like. To join the carnival, please fill up this FORM. Please include this short blurb on the top of your post:

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (August). For this month, we join the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action in it's "Talk to Me!" theme where participants will share personal experiences, insights or recommendations in communicating breastfeeding intentions and goals to their support system. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants."

If you don't have a blog but would like to join, please email me (delisyus[at]gmail[dot]com)or Jenny so we can arrange to have you hosted as a guest blogger. Deadline for registration for the carnival is on August 14, 2011. Posting instructions and carnival rules will be e-mailed to all participants on August 15 and the carnival will go live on 17 August 2011.

PLEASE NOTE:
Kindly note that we really expect participants to stick to the theme. We currently do not moderate or screen posts but we do reserve the right to exclude your entry from the list of carnival participants should your post be offensive, irrelevant to the carnival theme, contain personal attacks, off-topic articles, articles that are anti-breastfeeding or articles that are aimed to market products or services.

Kindly note the deadlines and please POST your entries on 17 August 2011. The deadline of 14 August 2011 is also strictly observed for REGISTRATION.

Panicking Over HK Trip

2011-08-04T08:07:00.000+08:00

It's still a good 3 weeks away but I am already stressed by our impending HK trip. Partly, I am not sure if my boys can take the stress. And then, it's been real rainy the past few weeks and I really don't want us just getting wet and sick there. I also haven't really washed the backpack we're going to use for our daytime jaunts (since the sun hasn't really shone lately for any decent laundry to dry) and we haven't purchased extra batteries for our cameras.

I did buy some long-sleeved shirts for Yakee already and some thin Chute rompers for Yamee (who, I expect will stay warm when I babywear him) but I was hoping we'd have a chance to wear funny tee shirts, or just coordinated ones, in a picture. I'll see if I can get matching polo shirts for the boys.... in red (because my nursing tops are just really either black or red).

Hopefully, Yakee will really have fun with his cousins. He's started asking us if we're already going to Disneyland every time we go out. And he doesn't seem to remember that we have to FLY somewhere in a plane first... *stress*

LATCH Kicks Off Breastfeeding Month Fabulously

2011-08-01T16:38:00.000+08:00

It's Breastfeeding Month and I am happy to share that the breastfeeding org I am affiliated with has loads of exciting things to offer.

First, check out this wonderful, wonderful logo/theme:

The GIVE LIFE part is oh-so-true for developing countries, where the poor don't always have access to sterile equipment and water nor enough money to buy formula or afford medical care.

The LIVE LIFE part serves as a reminder that breastfeeding NEED NOT LIMIT a woman/mother to enjoy the things that she loves... in fact, it may even get her doing more (after all, a lot of mompreneurs started their breastfeeding accessories business after being inspired or seeing a need/niche they can fill).

Now, LATCH has also partnered with ABS-CBN and Working Mom Magazine. The product of this collaboration is a magazine spread on breastfeeding in public (as moms go about their lives) in the August issue of Working Mom.

Yes, the Moms are dressed in Eden so you can really see how the new collection works

What's more, if you buy a copy of Working Mom's August issue, you can use that mag and gain free entrance for the whole family to the All About Baby bazaar happening on August 13, 2011 at Rockwell Tent.

Drop by the LATCH booth to meet and mingle with the LATCH ladies, attend a free class and avail of free counselling :)

Also, LATCH will have a Best Beginnings in Breastfeeding Class at The Medical City too on August 13 (instead of September 10) from 9-12 noon. So, would-be Mom... there really is no reason for you to say the information isn't out there :)

See you all!

Planning HK Itinerary

2011-07-28T20:52:00.000+08:00

One of our must-visits in Hong Kong is the Hong Kong Computer Festival and we'd be getting there on the last day of that gadget expo. Hubby is already salivating from the idea of what he'd see there (a lot of hardware, some MegaMeeting video conferencing software probably, and all the Chinese knockoffs one can imagine, I bet) and I think he might be driven to purchase yet another tablet.

Anyway, I just hope we can really accommodate what I have come up with so far. We really need a high-low-high-low actitvity ceremony. The geek in me is also super duper excited at our visit to the Science Museum because I just know it, my Yakee will love it there.

Hope no one gets sick...

First Conversation on Death

2011-07-26T02:05:00.001+08:00

Yamee woke up crying and so I rushed to breastfeed him. Yakee, still awake, suddenly asked out of the blue: "Mommy, will you be dead on Wednesday?"

And this is how our conversation went:
Me: What?
Y: Will you be dead?
Me: You mean, will I die?
Y: Yes.
Me: Yes, I will die. In time.
Y: Why?
Me: Because everybody dies. All living things die.
Y: Where will you go?
Me: Hmmm... hopefully heaven.
Y: Wy?
Me: Because I want to go there, but not anytime soon.
Y: Will I see you with the glass, like the lola?
(amazed na he's only now talking about the wake we went to over a month ago)
Me: You mean, will you see me in a coffin, and you'd look at me through the glass, like the dead lola?
Y: Yes!
Me: Well, yes. I will be in a coffin too. Hopefully, not soon.
Y: What will dead you?
Me: You mean, what will kill me?
Y: Yes, what will make you dead?
Me: Maybe a disease. Hopefully, old age? And hopefully, not yet anytime soon.
(long pause)
(incoherent words)
Y: You will not be dead with guns?
Me: I hope not baby.
Y: Why?
Me: I really hope to just die of old age. I don't want to die from guns. That would be a terrible way to die.
Y: Yes (and makes firing actions and noises)
Me: I hope I won't die yet. I want to see you grow up.
(pause again)
Y: What made the lola dead?
Me: Oh, the lola was sick, died from a bad heart. And I think, old age too.
Y: What made the lola sick?
Me: Her heart was old so it got... (struggling to find words he'd understand) broken.
Y: Broken?
Me: Well you see, baby, hearts are like batteries. When they run out of charge, they won't work anymore. So, a person will die.
Y: Why is the lola old?
Me: Because she lived many, many years.
Y: What number of years?
Me: She lived past 80 years. You have only lived almost 4 years. So, the lola... she's lived a loooooooooong time.
Y: Where did she live?
Me: In their house in QC
Y: Why?
Me: Because that's where she and her family lived.
Y: Who is her family, what are their names?
Me: I don't know their names, I only know my friend's name. Rolly. Now, go to bed and sleep Iakob. Yamee cannot sleep because we're talking. We can talk about death some more tomorrow.

It felt morbid talking in the dark about death... and I am superstitious enough to wonder, what if my son felt something (premonition?). But all in all, at least i've managed to gauge that he's still not yet scared of the idea.

And talking about death didn't make me feel uncomfy... now, let them start asking questions about sex... and i'm sure i'd UHM my way through the thing. Haha.

The Dream

2011-07-24T19:14:00.000+08:00

Last Friday, I happened to see two of my batchmates from my LATCH training. One of them is the Mom of my son's 'classmate' at St. Michael, the other one is now based in Puerto Princesa as a yoga instructor. They're the moms behind Indigo Baby :)

Anyway, Monica shared that they're starting their own version of St. Michael Playhouse in Puerto Princesa. I was happy for them, for Palawan in general... but also a little bit envious. How can other moms just do the things I want to be doing?

I remembered Nanay Ines of Arugaan always telling me to keep dropping by Arugaan to get pointers... and start my own creche. Arugaan and St. Michael have a lot of similarities and it would be really great to be able to embrace the lifestyle change they offer: going more organic, environment-friendly and child-involved.

I am not sure if I have a green thumb but there is that dream of growing our own vegetables and tending to backyard chicken coops with my sons. I hope to have a self-sufficient home utilizing solar energy and recycling water. And just lots of space where my sons can run free and imagine possibilities while learning about Science and Math :)

That is the dream. I hope I realize it someday.

*~*

Another set of signs I'm sort of getting composes the following:
1) A N@Wie friend who has started training to be a marriage and family counselor.
2) My college friend egging me to take up counselling with her.
3) A blog friend working as a part-time counselor under Ms. maribel Dionisio of the Love Institute.

I also hope to be a marriage and family counselor. It sort of feels like a natural progression from my stint as a peer counselor for reproductive health and teen issues from all those years ago. I am, sort of, a breastfeeding peer counselor now. Oh, and I also sort of want to be a child nutrition expert. But anyway, the deal is... since I am a wife and parent, I want to be an expert on family life and help others that way too because it is now what's relevant to me.

I am still struggling now with being a good enough wife and mom and I don't have energy for serious academic commitments.

But someday... when I've had more family life experience, I might study to become a professional counselor. When I know better, maybe i'd also learn to be better faster.

That is another dream.

Taking Breastfeeding Further

2011-07-21T00:01:00.152+08:00

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (July). For this month, we join the National Nutrition Council - Department of Health in celebrating Nutrition Month with the theme "Isulong ang Breastfeeding - Tama, Sapat at EKsklusibo!" Participants will share their experiences in promoting breastfeeding or their tips on how breastfeeding should be promoted. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants."

The most nutritious thing for Nutrition Month is such a perfect theme and there are no words to how amazed and delighted I am that DOH seems to really have embraced breastfeeding advocacy.

Personally, I know I have done a lot for breastfeeding. I certainly talk about it a lot, and can talk about it for hours (nay, days). I have blogged about it many times, not just my journey but things that frustrate me, and things I have learned. I have even blogged about the best nursing tops to breastfeeding-related events. When Ondoy struck, I joined three breastfeeding missions (Rizal, Pasig and Laguna). I have also joined L.A.T.C.H. to know more about breastfeeding and be trained as a breastfeeding peer counselor.

I also literally troll my yahoogroups and forums for those with breastfeeding queries and in need of support.

And I breastfeed in public, very seldom with cover, because I actually hope to inspire other people to think about how 'natural' it is.

BUT...

I have only volunteered for two TMC sessions, so far. And I do get weary answering the same questions... and sometimes also lack tact and gentleness when I do respond to them. For a while, I was even very judgmental of how other mothers can choose formula over breast. My current pet peeves are Judy Ann Santos and "I just gave birth and I don't have milk yet" sentiments. And I have not yet visited the clinic in our street and offered my services there.

In short, there is lots of room for improvement in me. There is so much more I can do. I can be so much more. And... I can potentially save more lives.

And so I strive to be gentle, even when I am frustrated. I answer the same questions again and again and again. I run the risk of alienating Facebook friends by speaking the truth. And I make sure everyone knows I have taken a side: this side.

Now... I hope I won't be so shy and lacking initiative to approach people of power I can connect with... to bring breastfeeding talks (and thus, awareness) to the masses.

*~*

I think this is the perfect time to also blog about things I feel the government can do to further breastfeeding awareness, support and advocacy.

DOH should really work with all other government agencies.

Get DECS to incorporate breastfeeding into children's books (Math sample problem: Nanay pumped milk at 8:00 AM and was able to express 3 ounces of milk. If she does the same two more times with the same volume of output, how much milk will she have pumped by the end of the day?... Health sample question: Give three examples of galactagogues.) and improve the medical curriculum to actually include a subject on breastfeeding for would-be doctors/medical practitioners. Children have to be enculturated back to a time when breastfeeding was natural and typical and common. The campaign with kids and in schools need not be aggressive, but pictures and storylines of making formula for a child just really has to be stopped and in their stead, more pictures of breastfeeding/babywearing indigenous cultures.

Get a law enacted to prohibit any entity from giving free samples of formula.

Tweak maternity leave due to mothers. While other countries enjoy up to a year of maternity leave with security of tenure, I really don't think our economy can afford that luxury. But I think we can improve on our current maternity leave by making it two months plus all Wednesdays till the 6th month. This ensures that working mothers will have that Wednesday breather from the stress of pumping at work. It just might also fuel productivity since working moms will know it's only 2 days before they can take care of their babies and directly breastfeed again. That's basically just 16-18 extra days that are potentially the same number of days a new mom has to be absent/goes to work unproductive due to a new baby/sick child.

Quit with the generic "breastfeeding is best for babies up to two years and beyond" bit in TV ads/formual cartons/posters. Have catchier slogans ("human milk for human babies"), funny cartoons or outright correct information instead ("breastfeeding reduces cancer risks for both mother and child" or "exclusive breastfeeding in the first six months can save you at least P20k, which you can use to spend on vaccines").

Maybe, DOH can also get volunteers (nutrition students' practicum? hehe) or work with hospitals to hold impromptu talks for waiting preggos in OB clinics.

Instead of breastfeeding stations wherein you have to invest in separate rooms, maybe public areas like malls can allocate seating areas with signs saying, "if you're breastfeeding, sit here" :D (well, it can double as rest area for preggos and the elderly too).

And can it be made a practice for OB Gyns to instruct a prenatal consult with the pedia, who can then discuss feeding and caring options/information with the parents?

The thing is, since breastfeeding benefits a lot of aspects (health, environment), there should also be a more wholistic and concerted approach to its promotion. And we have to support the mothers most because it generally is their battle, their investment, their lifestyle change. And the government should feel free to tax tobbaco and milk companies more to finance these endeavors... hehe... after all, breastfeeding reduces cancer risks and allergy risks, which smoking and formula milk perpetrate.

*~*

Please find the time to also read the entries of the other Milk Mamas joining this carnival :)

Dainty Mom reminds not to bash formula feeders

Lazy Mama also encourage breastfeeding in public and Legally Mom doesn't do it in nursing stations
and Frannie pumps even with male colleagues around

The Painter's Wife is informed and fearless

Dinna, the low milk supply mommy did it

We also get breastfeeding promotion tips from a fearless formula feeder which offers a lot of insights

I would also love a billboard on EDSA featuring celebs with mass appeal

Benz is the chillax advocate but oh, has she the influence

Breastfeeding Mama prepared herself for it and Rachel just hearts breastfeeding

Reach out to other moms, be encouraging to them and maybe we can really push for longer maternity leaves

Having the right information and support will help moms who weren't succesful do better next time, since the right psychology can help you succeed

And here's Deng, who actually stars in some breastfeeding ads while June breastfeeds with her sisters.

And as the perfect cap, a juxtapostion of Jenny's take on breastfeeding promotion in the Philippines and what a doctor Mum wants to see in UK

Mean Mom Days

2011-07-20T22:10:00.000+08:00

Lately I have been sending my eldest to bed without reading, lullabies and caresses... because he's also lately been really pushing his limits and trying to negotiate, delay or rebel against instructions. I trained him by telling him he has so many minutes left for play or eating and now, he asks me for extra five minutes here and there and insists on the number of minutes even after sooo much time has passed. Makes me want to purchase a timer asap, just so we'd both be more mindful of time.

I've also been really frustrated with his kind of play... I've caught him 'playing' with Yamee by tying a jumping rope around his neck, hitting jis face with a net or crushing a pillow on his face. He is really just playing and it doesn't help our discipline that Yamee giggles when his older brother does these inappropriate things.

Sigh.

Someday, when television stands and ice cream cones and homecooked meals are really things of the past, I hope what I am trying to instill in my sons, like obedience and loving presence, will have been ingrained... and working for them.

Everyday is a struggle. But everyday, I do see the promise of greatness.

Ballooning Momma

2011-07-16T18:59:00.000+08:00

Wearing my pink shirt the other day and trying out shorts at the mall, I realized that I have lost my waist yet again. I am now officially a rectangle again... probably pushing 150 lbs. again.

I felt the weight gain starting when Yamee started eating solids. And well, I have been having a chocolate feast, with all the cookies and ice cream I have been eating. No one to blame but me, I know.

And yes, it's high time to get the workout zumba working for me. I should be ashamed to be missing the Mommy Milkshake Marathon come August (but well, since I get cramps just standing for a longer period of time, I am really unfit to do any running).

Breastfeeding Month is also Mom's Month

2011-07-16T01:11:00.001+08:00

August is breastfeeding month and it's such a perfect opportunity for more Mom gifts, I think, ones that show support to breastfeeding and appreciation of all that it requires from a woman.

Clueless husbands can just click here for ideas, or just give their wives free rein in shops like Indigo Baby, Mama.Baby.Love or Eden :) Spa certificates will also be welcome for moms with aching backs, plus, it will relax them enough to give of themselves more freely.

I can't wait for my boys to be old enough to come up with their own gifts. I'd appreciate handprinted shirts, little ones, since you've already marked my heart for life... as yours.

Best Beginnings in Breastfeeding at TMC

2011-07-13T16:45:00.001+08:00

It was my first time last Saturday to handle a topic for the Best Beginnings in Breastfeeding Workshop that LATCH conducts for The Medical City every other month. Suffice it to say, hubs was my worst critic, haha, but I appreciate the support, really.

I opened the talk with my favorite quote these days:
"We make time for what we choose to have in our life." (Lucy Torres Gomez)

me doing the Benefits game with the chocolates wrong

demonstrating how to switch from cradle to cross-cradle position which would be useful when, say, one is eating

my all-time breastfeeding supporters (hubs even offered to answer questions from the dads in my breakout group, hehe

Swannie (N@wie), Ethel, Buding and me (trying out the SaYa gift from Buding)

always with a girlfriend!

I realized that I really know so much about breatfeeding already... at least, the basics. But I could use more practice in my delivery. I believe i'd convince more people to breastfeed if I can be as charming as Buding when I talk about breastfeeding. Haha. Just like what the doctor said that time, hearing Buding talk makes her want to breastfeed there and then (and she's not even a Mom yet).

PMS, Here I Come Again

2011-07-13T08:16:00.000+08:00

I had hoped that i'd have a longer lactation amenorrhea this time around. I really don't miss getting my period and would be perfectly content not getting it again, unless it suggests some medical problems for me. But I have started feeling that the day when i'd get it back is coming. One sign is the overall rage and bad mood, another is the aching back and hips for no real reason.

Sigh.

I guess it really means Yamee is requiring less milk now, which means, if I don't watch it, I may have to resort to diet pills for women because i'd just really gain all the weight back. And we're talking some 40 lbs here. Yikes.

*~*

Meanwhile, it stresses me to no end that Yakee is a sickly child these days. We're skipping school again today because he's running a fever again.

In Love with an Allergologist

2011-07-08T16:38:00.001+08:00

Once upon a time, Yakee's eyes were always watery and he always seemed to have a shiner around his eyes. Someone referred me to an allergologist at Chinese Gen. She took one look at Yakee and declared my son had asthma, and started giving us all these Cetaphil and Physiogel products to use (charged to us) and told us Yakee would need a skin test. And she uses the latest something that doesn't hurt which costs P25k.

Suffice it to say, we never went back to her. She did not even touch my son!

But for the past three weeks, we have been plagued by allergies. Well, two months, if you count Dr. Mantaring's discovery of exercise-induced asthma in Yakee and my angioedema episode over fried chicken (thank heavens it was a very sluggish allergy attack and it responded to two Benadryl caps because I didn't have any milk for Yamee then!).

At least, Yamee's rhinitis-like episodes are no more... he just gets blistery wounds when bitten by a bug.

But Yakee... haay. The hives annoy me like crazy! So I called our HMO (Intellicare) to ask if the PF of the allergologist at Healthway Robinsons Manila is covered, as well as the tests. We can reimburse up to P1k only for skin tests. Anyway, I decided to try this allergologist and thought that if she still wasn't ok, then we'd go to Dr. Alava at Manila Doctors (who was our main pedia's referral).

But oh, I fell in love with Dr. Arlene Sandejas! She made the trip to an allergologist just the way I want it to be. She asked questions and answered my questions. She was the first to offer a conservative approach to MY allergies and then gave me a list of house dust control measures after ascertaining that we live a generally allergy-free lifestyle (no pets, carpet, no smoking).

Being an allergic person and having written that article above, I like to think I am pretty knowledgeable about allergies. I mean, I know the basics. But Dr. Sandejas made me realize that I must also dust our books and not let them anywhere near the bed. She told me why allergic people sneeze in the morning (because the dust mites eat our dead skin cells at night, so we wake up irritated by them) and how baths usually resolve the issue. She told me about how long after a room is cleaned should kids stay away (3 hours, so dust has really settled! 1 hour for adults), that fabric conditioners are irritants and better avoided, and many other things. I learned more talaga!

Yes, she did tell me I must have my skin test repeated (as my last was 6 years ago, and I lost the list already, and it was done by Dr. Agbayani who has expired already!) but she assured me that she can give me time to save up for it, and that it can be done in batches so I can allot money for it. It's P6k for the 85-full panel test. And no, it's not administered generally to kids below 6 years old. And since I average a trip or two to the ER due to allergy episodes, I know the skin test can be an important tool to manage my allergies.

MABUSISI is the word I have been using to describe her. Thorough. Exhaustive. Without being unnecessary.

Now, for Yakee, she has prescribed Cetaphil lotion for the dryness, instructed me how to properly bath my son (less than 20 minutes, lukewarm water, no scrubbing to dry, just gentle pats, then lotion) and asked me to keep a food diary for him. We're not eliminating anything yet from our diets, just observing. And she also ordered a repeat CBC and urinalysis for Yakee (to which Yakee was so totally against, I cried a little asking him to give more blood) and also a stool exam (haven't yet done this!). She also asked to see Yakee's old X-ray, just to rule out whatever could be triggering my son's hives (infection? food? insect bites?).

And she offered me her cell number should I have questions. I didn't even have to ask (and I actually seldom do, although I know that's a standard for some people, because I also respect how some doctors do not like free consults over the phone, at two in the morning).

And she tells you what you should do, writes it down, and discusses it again with you so you really know what to do. Love it talaga!

So far, Yakee and I are fine and on meds. We're going back to her on the 19th and see where it leads us.

*~*

She is a doctor and a human being, I cannot guarantee she will be as thorough with each patient... she could get tired, after all. Plus, it may help that I came armed with a printed timeline of what happened to my son and when, as well as knowledge of our allergy histories and my son's health history. But I really feel good about her. It's seldom that I find a consultation... rewarding... enlightening. I think the euphoria is stemming from that inner sense of having found a perfect fit.

*~*

She does not accept health cards at Manila Doctors. And I don't have her clinic sked there so better call the hospital.

Healthway Medical Clinic-Robinson's Manila
Ground Floor, Padre Faura
Robinson's Place
Ermita, Manila
Tel. no. 528-4547
Schedule: Tuesday 3:00 pm - 5:00 pm, Saturday 11:00 am - 1:00 pm

Ramos Medical Clinic
5696 Pagulayan Street cor. Ilaya Street
Poblacion Makati City
Tel.no. 890-1696
Schedule: Wednesday/Friday/Saturday 10:00 am - 1:00 pm

*~*

I Googled her name and believe she is also a pediatrician, she was also referred to as a pedia-allergo at Healthway. Blessing talaga for moms like me :)

Milk Mama Diaries - Blog Carnival for July

2011-07-07T14:40:00.001+08:00

July is Nutrition Month! For this year, the National Nutrition Council - Department of Health has decided that the theme will be "Isulong ang Breastfeeding - Tama, Sapat at EKsklusibo!" (TSEk). The most nutritious thing for Nutrition Month, yes?

So, it is only appropriate to do our part and also take this up as our topic for July since we all know that breastfeeding benefits both moms and babies. Since breastfeeding has been receiving a lot of bad press lately (from torture to bad advice to wrong help from professionals), we really need to promote and spread the word about breastfeeding and its benefits.

For this month, please share your experiences on how you were able to promote breastfeeding or how you think breastfeeding should be promoted in this country to increase breastfeeding rates and encourage more moms to breastfeed.

Read my May Carnival post to get an idea on how a blog carnival post looks like. To join the carnival, please fill up this FORM. Please include this short blurb on the top of your post:

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (July). For this month, we join the National Nutrition Council - Department of Health in celebrating Nutrition Month with the theme "Isulong ang Breastfeeding - Tama, Sapat at EKsklusibo!" Participants will share their experiences in promoting breastfeeding or their tips on how breastfeeding should be promoted. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants."

If you don't have a blog but would like to join, please email me or Jenny so we can arrange to have you hosted as a guest blogger. Submissions are due by 19 July 2011 and the carnival will go live on 22 July 2011.

*~*

Aside: Isn't it absolutely wonderful that the government is really advocating breastfeeding now?

*~*

I will be handling the BENEFITS part of the Best Beginnings in Breastfeeding workshop at the Medical City this Saturday, 9:00 - 12:00. Please come if you're pregnant and want to breastfeed. This is for free and everyone's welcome. bring your main support person.

Money and Credit Savvy from RD

2011-07-01T08:44:00.000+08:00

I have been a loyal subscriber to Readers Digest Asia for years now. One of the features that I like there is the one where money, savings and credit advice is dispensed by a certain Gabriel Yap.

It's from him that I learned how to take advantage of debt optimization offered by credit companies. I also learned that investing in the Chinese Yuan, Singapore and Australian dollar could be worthier investments over a regular dollar account. I still don't quite get all the advice on equities and mutual funds but it's still great to be learning something new monthly about money and investments.

This is particularly crucial now since hubby and I have two kids to provide for. I dare not even contemplate just how costly it would be to send them to college someday (but maybe with K-12, they don't need to go? haha) especially in these times when there are so many options for self-realization for them.

All the advice was especially relevant when we ran into debt last month, because our disposable cash is currently tied up with an investment and we suddenly decided to enrol our child somewhere. Talk about not having any disposable income. It was jarring to feel that limited in your purchasing power, even if only for a time. It was a wake-up call that got hubby and me to revisit our income sources and spending habits. And now, it's time to make some of the changes.

Good thing though that I have developed the habit of not bringing my credit card with me all the time. Sure, it has been a source of stress realizing I didn't have enough cash on me too and returning all the lovely things I already have in my basket (this has happened twice already!) but it's still better than developing a habit of reaching for the plastic whenever I find something nice.

Hopefully, we get to raise money-savvy kiddos as well.

Gadgets Limited

2011-06-29T07:51:00.000+08:00

Hubs and I have been learning where to toe the line on gadgets use for Yakee. I got really annoyed when he let our son play Angry Birds one time with only "Sunday mornings" as condition because I felt it took away from actual bonding time for them and can prove too long as that would be till 11:59 AM. Good thing he was quick enough to adopt my idea of "long drives" instead to keep Yakee off his back while driving and we'd have relative peace in the car. The price of this, however, is that our son now is usually bent on the touch-screen phone instead of watching out for backhoes or flyovers with us. There goes opportunities for getting kisses.

Now, reading off the tablet PC is allowed only when it's weekend mornings or at bedtimes away from home, when we don't have books on hand. Hubs has also tasked me to come up with a playlist for our son already to listen to on long drives, so he'd get more familiarized with lyrics and songs. Soon enough, I just know it, we may be arguing Ipod accessories and requests for own tablets. Sigh.

My only rule is... gadgets shouldn't take away from actual interaction. So, when I let Yakee 'paint' at the Jackson Pollock site, I make sure I am there to still talk him through what he's doing. It's just so easy to lose them in a virtual world... I have to be vigilant.

Sick Kids = Sick Mom

2011-06-21T22:04:00.001+08:00

It started with Yakee getting hives, getting better, then getting hives more aggressively which resulted in a trip to the ER, and a follow up with his main pedia.

Then, getting colds and starting to cough, and now with hives again. And the hives appeared after we were at the HMO pedia for his colds/cough. Stress!

And then Yamee exhibiting what seemed to be allergic rhinitis last Saturday. He is getting better and can eat and feed now but upon consultation with the HMO pedia, we found out phlegm in his lungs. So, now, it's antibiotics time (which, weirdly enough, he likes. But most vitamins, he hates).

But all these has cost me stress and sleepless nights... and maybe, a cookie binge. And I also had to go to the ENT in case what I have isn't allergy and is actually a virius. But alas, I lost him at 'breastfeeding.' You can actually see him want to get rid of me asap. He never discouraged me from breastfeeding, more like, he acted as if he couldn't do more than double my decongestant dosage because I was breastfeeding.

Ah well.

This too shall pass.

Ready for Trick or Treating

2011-06-21T21:29:00.002+08:00

This is a long overdue post on cuteness.

Sophia's party is the only party, so far, that Yakee truly enjoyed. He joined the games and sat along with the other kids in front to watch the show. And he was game enough to come in costume! Two costumes, even! Haha.

I just hope Yakee won't outgrow these costumes so he can go around Alabang with his cousins as a tiger. The lion costume is just so hot, you see, even if they're only dishing out halloween party favors to trick or treaters from my BIL's garage.

A Boob Job Present for a Birthday Gift

2011-06-17T23:08:00.002+08:00

I will not include a link here to the news site but just feel free to Google or Bing "Sarah Burge, Human Barbie, gifted her daughter with a boob job voucher for 7th birthday" and you're sure to get many hits.

My initial reaction was "Ewww." and my friend's, "Disgusting." And I guess we're both referring to both the Human Barbie's face (who looks soooo unnatural) and the implication of the gift. And I don't really care if the mother says that she's just giving her daughter the option, should she someday want her boobs fixed, enlarged, changed, etc., because it still screams inappropriate to me.

Heck... heels for little girls are inappropriate, this is verging on perverted and abuse. After all, why would a 7-year old scream with delight over a future boob job if she's not being raised with the notion that she's need or want one?

Now, i'll just get back to searching appareils photo numériques and silently thank my happy problem of not having their money, which seems to be tied to their poor self-image as well. And I soooo won't ever take pictures of that scary-looking Sarah Burge.

Pumping Momma

2011-06-16T23:23:00.000+08:00

I have been real busy. And yes, because of pressing social expectations and Yakee attending day care, I have had to pump every day for the past two weeks or so. Twice a day for this week too.

And weirdly enough, I felt a weird sense of accomplishment looking at all the filled milk bottles in the ref. Hehe.

But I think my Yamee is feeling shortchanged that I have had to leave him with a bottle every day this week too. Sigh. I really hope I maximize the time Yakee's away to just fully enjoy Yamee in ways I did with Yakee.

Preparing for School

2011-06-07T15:01:00.000+08:00

Not only do I still have a list of things to prepare and buy for Yakee, I am also psyching myself up for the 3-day-a-week commute to and from Rockwell area. I dare not even think of the risks of being out and a possible need for a social security disability insurance, having been homebound for almost four years. More than that, of course, I hope Yakee and I will always be safe.

I must also maximize the time Yakee is away on productive endeavors like blogging more and better, maybe an Odesk job, and bonding with my infant (who is no longer an infant really).

I am also storing up frozen milk now. Stress!

Mom Bloggers for Play Pilipinas

2011-06-03T19:23:00.004+08:00

‘Play’ includes activities of children that are not controlled by adults and that do not necessarily
conform to any rules. Source

Play Pilipinas will be the country's first Play Festival. It's happening in October 21-23, 2011 and I just really can't wait!

But wait... I must tell you first that Play Universal, in a drive to promote its Active Play movement and Play Pilipinas, has invited mom bloggers for lunch. Unfortunately, only three of us were able to come. It was still great though because we managed to really interact. Leirs, Joey and I all have two kids each... but Ms. Sigrid has eight (all age ten and below) so it made for a really interesting exchange. And yes, I was texting my friend Laya about how Ms. Sigrid can manage her legion and still establish Play Universal and manage Project Brave Kids so we (laya and I) should stop ranting, haha.

Free and active play, a basic right for kids, is now being hindered by the following:
1) Adults that are unaware of the importance of play and parents themselves restricting play opportunities
2) Unsafe environments and limited play space, especially for children growing up in the city
3) Parents' Fears, that can run the gamut of social (bullying) to physical (germs, falls
4) Inadequate play policies (like barangays will construct a basketball court that may only benefit big kids, or construct playgrounds that are generic but don't really promote active play)
5) Excessive pressure for educational achievement and lack of provisions for play in school
6) Structured, programmed leisure time (play that is generally free of rules actually help facilitate better IQ and EQ)
7) Technology and the commercialization of play (e.g. instead of using their imagination with boxes and plastic containers, little girls now need miniature play kitchens and boys are hunched over gadgets instead of jumping off beds)
8) Marginalization (girls aren't encouraged to climb walls; the poor don't really have playgrounds)

So, yes... it was a very informative, however brief, encounter.

Needless to say... I am looking forward to Play Pilipinas (details of the play festival here). I don't have the P15k for the 3-day conference (and the topics, though interesting, are really targeted for academe people) but I might be forced to come up with the P3k or so for at least one of their mini workshops. I'm thinking, the one on traditional Filipino games. They're also considering a mini workshop for Play and Special Needs Kids.

The 3-day forum will cost P10,500 only and the mini-workshops P1k, thanks to more sponsors for the event.

But I am really excited about the playground installations they will be setting up (winning designs from the playground design competition) because kids will be able to move from one setup to another. And this won't be the generic slides and swings!

And then there will be the fairs on toys, books and magazines, nutrition, fashion, school and world toys. Like I told hubs, it might end up as a major shopping spree for me, haha.

Play Pilipinas is happening on October 21-23, 2011 at the SMX Convention Center. For more information and inquiries, just contact:
Play Universal Co.
9F Pacific Center, 33 San Miguel Avenue, Ortigas Center, Pasig City
Telefax: +63 634 0416
Email: playnow@playpilipinas.com
http://playpilipinas.org/

I think this is a perfect venue for a grand EB and playdate, haha!

End of Summer

2011-06-03T17:42:00.000+08:00

My son is now enrolled at St. Michael's incoming 'school term' (months of June to October). I, however, ended up deciding not to pursue my FSL classes (3rd level). I am intimidated by all the pumping I'd have to do and all the ferrying to and fro with Yakee. I want there to be enough time for me to take advantage of Yakee being away for a while to bond with Yamee and do some work.

It sort of feels a little sad that Yakee's going to 'school' now. I know it's a Waldorf day care but it really brings home to me that the days when I alone can provide what he needs is gone... is past... is through.

Soon, we won't just be identifying trucks but actually comparing (yes, I have to keep up and really learn!) cars and what Polaris Accessories are best for ATVs. And yes, he will be drinking beer too.

End of Summer. Not yet the end of childhood for him... but really the end of babyhood. For both of us.

Congrats Mommy Laya and Cristine

2011-06-01T23:10:00.000+08:00

After much deliberation of the wonderful entries by the seven moms who joined my Mommy Me-Time Blog Contest, we have reached a verdict and the winner is Mommy Laya's Good Parenting is Being Good to Yourself entry :)

But because we also really loved her mashed lyrics, we're also giving Mommy Cristine a special prize. Congratulations to both moms and thanks again to Unilab for the prizes. I love your Lulur Whitening Body Scrub by the way, haha.

Now, I shall get back to checking spotting scopes just because I am considering new activities to do with Yakee. That, or I resume my Game of Thrones marathon.

Withdrawing Reading

2011-05-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

Reading is something we really love doing, my firstborn and I, and because Yakee cannot read yet, we read together.

Now, I must admit I sometimes deny him this when he's especially unruly and misbehaving. Rather than scold or spank or put him on timeout, I sometimes feel it's the best punishment or consequence of his misbehavior. Because I know it really gets to him, it's something he misses, it's something he wants back.

But I also worry that I might be reinforcing a negative association here... that he'd someday despise reading because I used it to 'maintain control.'

I do read to him in so many ways, in different hours (not just bedtime), using so many books and even as a reward sometimes for good behavior. I want him to grow up thinking that whether happy or not, bored or not, behaved or not, reading is something he can do.

And I can't exactly read to him when he's misbehaving and being uncooperative since he wouldn't feel deprived of caring and bonding. Sigh. But maybe when he's still on probation, I can choose the book instead and pick one that brings home the lesson I want him to learn. Which also means, we may have to read a lot of Tiktaktok at Pikpakbum.

And no, denying him toys doesn't really work with him. He's not that dependent on them for play, anyway.

*~*

Oh, Yakee... I really hope I am doing okay with you!

Waldorf Homeschooling

2011-05-25T22:24:00.000+08:00

Like I said in my FB status.... I sometimes wish I hand't encountered the words "homeschooling," "Waldorf" and "intentional parenting. Because I always feel like I am cramming for something and I feel challenged in every way possible.

But let me backtrack a little.

The decision to be a SAHM was agreed upon even before we got married... provided we could accommodate it. Since hubs was Asst. Technical Manager already then, we gave it a go. While pregnant, I encountered "homeschooling" and something inside me just clicked. It was perfect for our setup... and well, back then, I had dreams of us being an expat family so homeschooling would really be useful and practical.

As you can see though, we;re still here in the Philippines. With another child.

Now, Waldorf... I have encountered the word many times before... but it was only recently that I thought to give it a try because the day care that we had a trial class in doesn't teach academics! For me, it jived well with homeschooling's mantra of "better later than sooner."

And then I found out there's such a thing as Waldorf Homeschooling! And someone who's doing it with her children have already made contact with me so it feels like things are really falling into place!

However, the reading I have to do is piling up, I may not be able to help my brother with the hgh reviews he wanted to look into. Turns out, Steiner was a very prolific author... and I also have to read up on making homeschooling work for us, aside from all my parenting books and activity guides so I can come up with the curriculum that will work for my family.

Wish me luck!

*~*

I sometimes wonder if I just want us to be a little elite, or different, or unique, or whatever. I mean, why make things harder for myself? Why invite these struggles?

But I realize that my I really want every opportunity for my family to be more of a family... and that my most fervent wish is to send out my boys into the great big world as emotionally and psychologically-equipped as I can make them.

After all, how else will they suceed? How else will they be happy?

Bloggers Engagement for DOH's Breastfeeding TSEK Program

2011-05-22T18:24:00.001+08:00

Last May 14, 2011, I had the privilege of attending the Bloggers Engagement for the Department of Health's (DOH) Breastfeeding TSEK Campaign at Alejandra Hotel in Makati.

I was at the launch of the Breastfeeding TSEK campaign months ago but was not really familiar with the details. Still, it was really nice to see the government funding the promotion of breastfeeding awareness and support. It was now tapping new media even!

Welcome Remarks and call for support was made by Asec. Paulyn Jean Rosell-Ubial while Dr. Anthony Calibo (Supervising Officer for Essential Newborn Care, NDCC-DOH) presented the Breastfeeding TSEK Primer. The PR is being handled by Campaigns Cebu.

Highlights of/Notes taken from the bloggers engagement include:
* We actually have better breastfeeding laws compared to other countries; we have a problem with implementation though

* Aside from the usual Milk Code Violations, we also have a culture where most pregnant mothers do not go for prenatal pediatric consultation to know their rights and responsibilities

* There is a growing trend now of OB-GYNs also pushing milk formula by colluding with their 'partner' pediatricians; "if you don't push this milk, I will not send clients your way" (on top of hospitals issuing formula cans; pediatricians ordering formula feeding for any number of reasons; and public health workers giving away formula to mothers they see in their clinics... all funded by milk company giants, of course)

* Good news: Aside from designated breastfeeding areas in public places in Davao, there are also reserved bus seats for breastfeeding moms

* Based on their most recent studies, 53% of mothers breastfeed after giving birth, but only 33.5% do it exclusively for the first 6 months of life. The median duration of exclusive breastfeeding is 2.8 months, corresponding to length of maternity leave and an obvious room for improvement on information dissemination (that it is doable to exclusively breastfeed even after going back to work, and how) and support (both from family and employer). Sorry I cannot cite the specific study and year but maybe we can ask from the Breastfeeding TSEK Facebook page

* There is actually about 20% or more who breastfeed for the first six months and do not give formula, but give water or other things (solids, honey, etc) and it is DOH's hope to target this population to just exclusively breastfeed to bring the percentage of exclusive breastfeeding to over 50%

* A story of a breastfeeding mom who pumped in a toilet cubicle: a colleague only heard the low hum of the pump motor, reported it to the supervisor and the whole thing resulted in Bomb Squad, NBI, etc being called

* 38.4% of the labor force is composed of women; 33% of union members are women... which should empower women to insist on their needs and roles being considered and addressed

* Mothers who want to delay rooming in should also be informed of the increased chance of catching infections the longer their newborn stays in the nursery (issue of support system will come in here for the newly-delivered mom)

* Region VI (Western Visayas) showed consistent low scores in proper breastfeeding and complementary feeding scores; Region X (Northern Mindanao) consistently scored high

* Underweight problems set in at age of solid introduction which suggests a problem with proper complementary feeding

* Formula milk has to have added iron as the allergens in it result in microbleeding for babies

* to my question of whether the Breastfeeding TSEK program has anything in it to also effect changes in the training of medical students, there was no clear answer (breastfeeding is just a course topic, not even an entire subject for med students, when breastfeeding experts cannot even cover everything about it in two weeks)... however, it seems the World Health Organization (WHO) has already issued a guide for curriculum developers and that they are targetting nutritionists especially (since they are actually required to master formula components & preparation); there has also been a curriculum integration meeting where medical schools were represented last year;

* I brought the matter up because aside from the OB and the pedia, nursing mothers who get sick also see a slew of other doctor specialists who are quick to prescribe medications without considering its safety for a nursing mom or who refuse to prescribe/look up safer drug alternatives

* A good thing is the government's conditional cash transfer program (CCT) involving DepEd, DSWD and DOH wherein P5.7 billion has been allocated for DOH's social service package to cover basic emergency obstetrical and neonatal care facilities. "Under the CCT program, the government provides a monthly stipend of P500 to mothers plus P300 per child up to three on condition that they keep their children in school, that they receive immunization, and that the mothers avail themselves of pre-natal and other check-ups. (Source)" Pregnant and breastfeeding mothers are also given Vitamin A and Iron supplements.

Training for breastfeeding peer counselors all over the country will also commence this June, so yes, the government is now doing more so breastfeeding can save lives.

*~*

I was a little annoyed and disappointed that only half of the bloggers who confirmed for the event showed up. As a former government employee, I know just how limited the funds are and no-shows are a waste of resources.

I spoke about this with Campaigns Cebu and asked them, should there be another blogcon on DOH's breastfeeding program, that I be contacted so I can also invite actual breastfeeding advocate bloggers.

It is good to have converts among those who make a career out of blogger events but inviting those who are already advocates too will effect bigger improvements as we can work better with the government, offer more informed feedback and see how else we can help.

I have also asked DOH to let me cover their peer counselors training so I can blog about it. Hopefully, I can be accommodated. I really believe that knowing what the government is doing, no matter how slow or small, can result in more cooperative constituents.

And I have no agenda other than to help save lives... both the baby's and the mother's.

Better Time Management, Please!

2011-05-21T15:00:00.000+08:00

We're actually loads better now... because we generally wake up between 7-9 AM (Yakee and I) and Yamee sleeps through the night. His night feedings do not bother me much because he just feeds and sleeps.

Yakee generally knows that it's play time after breakfast and then lunch and then tub time and then nap time. After that is play time again, snacks, play time again until supper.

But I think we'd still benefit from better time management. Just so, I can have more structured interaction with Yakee... and I can enjoy Yamee more. I just cried to hubs last night about being sad that I am missing alone moments just enjoying Yamee coo and giggle (because I have to attend to Yakee too) and being scared and sorry that Yakee is growing up more competitive for attention as Yamee grows more interactive and cute. Just the other day, Yakee was hitting Yamee because Yamee kicked his face (yes, Yamee is at that age where he likes seeing people's reaction to his kicking and slapping).

The only upside to having to attend to both boys is that I don't have to buy liporexall at all because I am usually just sweating like a pig. Sometimes, i'd shower first at night before giving the boys their evening baths... then would have to shower again after. Maybe we should just really lay out a pool and spend the day there, hehe.

Plus, I discovered that there is such a thing as Waldorf homeschooling. I am now still deciding if I'd enrol Yakee there only, or do that with another curriculum (double the pressure for me? double the expense for educational materials for us?).

Better time management, please!

Philplans Insurance Strategy

2011-05-18T13:37:00.000+08:00

We got a call that we 'won' an insurancecertificate from Philplans. I decided to check it out because it is supposedly free. Well, it is. I now have a P25,000 insurance from them. They give that for free for a chance of being able to conduct a sales talk for their Prodigy Account, which was actually interesting and tempting.

The Prodigy account is more like a time deposit sort of something wherein you commit to a certain amount to invest in them (say, P100k) payable within 5 years (so P20k annually, or staggered payment of around P1,700 monthly if charged to credit card and that would only accrue 1.5% and not the usual 3-3.5% credit card companies usually charge for unpaid balances). It will mature after 7 years and you will have the option to collect it as lump sum, or use it for educational purposes for your kiddos or memorial fund for you. It also gives you the same amount of insurance money should you die. And your money earns 4-7% annually compared to a bank's 1-2%.

The catch, of course, is I had to commit to it there and then... which I couldn't do because I had to talk it over with my husband first. Plus, he just got a new policy from Sony Life. And tuition time is up.

But it sounded a nice investment, right?

*~*

Because I took Yakee with me and he was like a withering plant in the heat, I treated him to dalandan juice the minute we got home. It would have been nice to just sink into an Adirondack chair and rest but I had to prepare Yamee's food the minute we got home because he was hungry too.

Babysitter Away For Three Weeks

2011-05-16T18:09:00.000+08:00

My cousin, my main babysitter and girl Friday is away for three weeks to finish up all her caregiving OJT. She was already stressed packing her stuff and needed to wash the scrubs she wore to her class even because she needed to bring one to where they were going. It was too late to get her some extra discount scrubs. She also had to wash my old earth pad yesterday in time for her departure today. Good thing it's so hot, everything dried in time.

But anyway, my cousin's wife (her sister-in-law) has stepped in to help me, since I have to be away every Monday for Yakee's class. Good thing Yamee adores her to pieces. Unfortunately, this setup isn't without its challenges.

I forgot to tell her that I had extra expressed milk in the ref. She did see it but believed it was spoiled because of the color and the cream having separated from the main milk. Ahehe. Then, she also washed Yamee's feeding stuff using our regular sponge and dishwashing liquid. And she didn't steam enough squash for Yamee. Hehe. Little things I took for granted because my cousin knew these things (well, she also didn't like giving Yakee stored milk before and is still against thawing frozen milk).

But I am still very lucky. I know. And I am thankful!

Two Asthma Stories

2011-05-14T11:16:00.000+08:00

Around two weeks ago, I finally gave in and brought Yamee to an HMO pedia to have his rashes checked. The pedia was the same one who diagnosed Yakee to have primary complex, so, needless to say, I was wary of her. True enough, she just took a quick look and said it was skin asthma. She told me to use only the mildest soap, buy a steroid-based ointment and that was it.

I decided instead to bath Yamee twice a day (yes, even at 10 in the evening!) and observe the rashes. They have improved but not disappeared. I also decided i'd just wait for the next sked with our main pedia and follow his prescriptions instead.

Last Thursday, we waited 5 hours to be seen by our main pedia. Yes, it was really rather horrendous. But out of boredom and having missed a nap, Yakee thought to amuse himself by jogging around the room (especially since we were the only ones waiting in the room, the others after us were outside). That was between 15-20 minutes of non-stop jogging. The secertary was bothered by this (haha) and offered him a candy just so he'd stop and rest. He got the candy and started jogging again.

Then, it was our turn with the doctor. Using his stethoscope, the doc heard wheezing in Yakee's breathing. Mind you, Yakee wasn't even out of breath when we saw the doctor. He could also talk just fine. But the wheezing was there. The doc even made me listen to it. Yakee has asthma... the kind that doesn't need maintenance nor medication.

And Yamee? His rashes were fungal.

Instant Playdate

2011-05-11T15:41:00.003+08:00

Last week, I had an instant play date with fellow breastfeeding moms. Who knew there is a riding stable here in the heart of Manila? Pook Ligaya offered a real good time to the kids, and my Yakee rode a really big horse!

Can you guess how happy he was? :)

I think they sort of annoyed the chief equestrienne there though because they kept knocking some things in the fountain.

Old Pump, New Pump

2011-05-11T11:56:00.000+08:00

Monday... I was still able to pump in the morning before bringing Yakee to our parent-child stint at St. Michael. In the afternoon, I was preparing to pump again because I have a full schedule this week when my pump fell off the table while I was pacifying an upset Yamee... and after that, the pump was just broken.

I only have a Pigeon electric. I never thought to invest in a more expensive pump because I am a sahm and do not pump that often. But yes, that pump is now 4 years old.

Talk about being upset.

I could buy the same pump again since I'm used to it and I know it's cheap... but I had bad feelings about it. I immediately scoured the net for a replacement and by the end of the day, I have decided I want to try a manual pump this time.

So, I did.

Tuesday, I bought a Medela Harmony. And I was pretty amazed at how I managed to pump 2.5 ounces last night when I have been breastfeeding from both breasts all day!

The downside? It's kinda harder to pump while nursing because Yamee keeps trying to either eat the pump or kick at it. And Yakee keeps wanting to crank the pump for me, amazed yet again at being able to produce milk!

I just hope the pump sees me thru my pumping needs. :)

May Blog Carnival: Top 10 Breastfeeding Partners

2011-05-08T02:21:00.004+08:00

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (May). This carnival is dedicated to all moms, celebrating Mother's Day today. Participants will share various topics covering A Breastfeeding Mother's Top Ten List. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants."

=============

For a mother to succeed in breastfeeding, no matter her circumstance, three things are necessary: commitment, right information and the right support system. Without these three, there will be more struggles than usual and each issue becomes a bigger problem than it should be.

And if you really want to prepare to succeed, these are the breastfeeding partners you should get on board!

1) The husband/significant other/immediate family
I credit my husband with half of my breastfeeding success, not just for allowing me to be a stay-at-home Mom (and not having to pump constantly), but more for attending breastfeeding seminars with me; actually learning from them (so much that he can actually coach others); cheering me up when I am struggling (through thoughtful gestures like taking care of the babies so I can sleep longer, or nice breastfeeding outfits) and crediting breastfeeding with everything good about our sons (their health, intelligence, energy).

It is so important for a father to attend breastfeeding seminars with the wife, because he'll learn of the benefits and have an idea of how taxing it must be, especially in the early days when a mother is just recovering from the delivery. Fathers can take care of the swaddling, changing, burping, sunning, etc as the mother recuperates or pumps milk for her return to work. The more rest a mother gets, the more she can deliver, not just the breast milk, but also quality parenting and loving.

Plus, it will be like a ton of bricks crushing your heart if... at the first sign of illness, your husband questions your breastfeeding decision. So, get them on board. Good thing there's a free LATCH Best Beginnings in Breastfeeding Workshop at The Medical City every other month (the next one is May 14, 9 AM-12 NN).

Later on, as you have more kids, the older ones can also be of great help to you. My firstborn would remind me to put my milk in the fridge. Heck, sometimes he even wants to hold my pump for me. But at least, he understands that breastfeeding is something I have to do for the youngest child. It is the way I love them.

2) Your family (especially your mother)
People you love most can easily defeat you when you're not secure in your decision... and no matter how much you read and attend seminars, there will really be moments when you will doubt yourself. And a mother, especially, telling you that you were formula fed but turned out okay won't be much help when you're teaching a newborn to latch. A mother who keeps telling you that no woman in your family breastfed because you're genetically unable to produce milk can also easily cast doubts in your mind, which will translate into stumbling blocks (like when you're waiting for your milk to come in).

So, get them to attend breastfeeding seminars with you. Grow them in the idea the minute you find out you're pregnant. If they love celebrities, talk about those who breastfed. If they're worrywarts or hypochondriacs, ply them with the science that backs the benfits of breastfeeding. If they're into excellence, ply them with literature on how breastfeeding adds IQ points (if only because a child gets sick less and for shorter periods, and thus, won't miss as much school time).

And well... get them cooking the dishes that will help boost your milk supply.

3) Your husband's family (especially your mother-in-law)
We will always, at the back of our minds, seek the approval of our husband's family, if only to validate that he chose well when he chose us. Plus, it just won't do if they're harping on your hubby that you are starving your poor child by insisting to breastfeed (a newborn/baby will cry for as many reasons as we have flavors of ice cream)... or that your child is malnourished (when really, he is only lean).

One other reason why it's important to have your family supportive of your breastfeeding decision is that they are less likely to sabotage it with
junk, fast or processed food later in your child's life. Why would they, after all, spoil your child with sugary sweets when he has a great set of teeth? :)

4) Your OB-Gynecologist
Having your OB aware of just how much you want to breastfeed will allow her to take that decision into consideration about how your particular pregnancy will be approached. Will she take more risks in the delivery or limit the risks to ensure you have enough energy to breastfeed after? Will she use safe drugs, a lot of it, etc. during the delivery and for pain management after? Will she allow/help observe the newborn care protocol?

And after... will she properly advice you on contraceptives that you can use, should you want any, that won't compromise your milk supply?

5) Your Pediatrician
Few do it but parents should really go interview or consult with their intended pediatrician. After all, he or she will be taking care of your precious much longer than you'd be going to your OB. And a pediatrician can support your rooming in wishes, as well as advise you which hospital they are affiliated with is more breastfeeding friendly.

And then later... a pediatrician will monitor your child's progress. But will he do it using the right standards or will he be secretly in the payroll of milk companies and pushing formula at the slightest hint of a problem (even if it's just the common rash on a baby's face as he gets acclimatized in this environment in the first few months)? What if, like others who do not know any better, he blames your milk automatically for any little thing?

And yes, just because pediatricians are doctors do not mean they are breastfeeding experts. They are childhood diseases experts. And unfortunately for us, the topic on breastfeeding does not even take up one entire subject in medical school.

6) Your nanny/helpers
Your nannies have to learn to swirl, not shake, expressed breast milk. Or that they have to let it thaw a number of ways but not to directly heat it. They also sometimes have to be tutored to not just keep giving bottled breast milk when your baby cries when it's not yet feeding time, lest they waste the precious milk you pump.

They also have to be able to support you as you pump, by taking care of the other chores or the other kids. And... they have to be sold into the benefits of breasfeeding themselves so that they don't give your kid junk food when you're away.

7) Your friends
Some friends, though well-meaning, can easily undermine your efforts by dismissing breastfeeding as too hard... or old fashioned. And, if they do not know your decision, they might give you feeding bottles and formula at the baby shower, baptism and birthday of your child. They also might not understand why you are unavailable at certain times of the day, or that you have to properly schedule your meetups with them. Some might also get scandalized when you pop out a boob to feed a child in their presence.

8) Your breastfeeding network/support group
I have LATCH and Arugaan, two groups of breastfeeding experts. I have Pinoyexchange, Gtalk and N@W, forums where I have met other breastfeeding moms. They all offer support, consolation, validation, tips and reminders. They cheer me on. But more than that, they get me to realize others have had to struggle with bigger things but have prevailed (like say, breastfeeding triplets, or a special needs child).

They also direct me to breastfeeding-related products (from milk bags to nursing tops) and news/studies on breastfeeding benefits.

I wouldn't have succeeded without them. And always, I try to give back to them. Trust me, it is just so liberating and empowering to talk about breastfeeding with other people who have also been blessed by it.

9) Other doctors
If you're a healthy person, no need for doctors. But what if you're allergic, diabetic, or just discovered you have a lump somewhere? What if you want to have warts removed, or get varicose veins fixed?

I kid you not... some doctors refuse to prescribe other than what they're used to, or even check if it's breastfeeding safe. The usual advice in this great country of ours is to stop breastfeeding while taking the meds (usually antibiotics for something) when there's more than enough breastfeeding-safe medicines and alternatives. If you do not know better, your hard work in establishing a good breastfeeding relationship can be threatened just because you ate bad fish that got your lips swollen... and went to an incompetent doctor.

So, it's really important to have a breastfeeding circle you can get referrals from.

10) Your colleagues/boss/company
If you're a working mom... it will be important that your company knows that you are entitled by law to pump at work, even if they are unable to provide a pumping station because you're the lone childbearing woman in the company. It will also be crucial that the company believes it's to their benefit as it translates to fewer leaves of absence over a sick child. It is also important for your colleagues to support you more for taking a break to pump (and if they know how hard it is to pump, they won't call it a break) than other colleagues for taking a break to smoke.

And well, in some setups, your colleagues may just have to get used to a whirring sound coming from your desk, when you'd rather just pump there and nowhere else. And by golly, I hope none of them throws away or drinks your expressed breast milk.

In a way, it takes a village to breastfeed a child. But for a long time, we have lived in a formula-supported village... we're now retracing our steps to the good old days when breastfeeding was the norm, not the exception, and embracing the new as we employ tools like breast pumps and coolers.

Anyway, I love my biggest supporters!

*~*

Read the other breastfeeding Top 10! :)

Ten Things a Handy Mommy Can Do While Breastfeeding

Ten Life Altering Moments of a New Breastfeeding Mom

Nurturing Rafael: A Breastfeeding Mother's Top 10 List

Ten Things I Now Know About Breastfeeding Because I Breastfed

Ten Ways to Cheer a Breastfeeding Wife

Aria's Habits While Breastfeeding

Top Ten Tips for Pumping and Working Moms

Our Breastfeeding Library

How to Breastfeed in Public

Ten Favorite Foods for the Breastfeeding Mom

Ten Breastfeeding Nice-to-Have's

Nursing Must-haves and Cheaper Alternatives

Ten Reasons I Still Breastfeed Even if I Have to Supplement / Ten Milk Supply Boosting Supplements

10 Things You Don't Say to a Breastfeeding Mom

Ten Things I Wish I'd Done When I was Breastfeeding

*~*

Consider this our way of celebrating what elevated our motherhood into something more.

Blessings as a Mom

2011-05-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

My kids are healthy and generally happy. We went to Expo Mom today and I also couldn't help but realize that more than half of the things sold there, I don't need... and the others, I don't want. Or, I already have. Or, have/do something better.

I have a great husband and partner who is involved in child-rearing and who doesn't undermine my discipline... respecting that it is I who take care of the children most of the time so he must follow MY suit.

I have resources and opportunities that may be limited but what I do have allow me a comfortable life.

Luxuries like a DSLR cam to document our everyday, and this notebook I am using which doesn't fail. (You see, my SIL is now reading netbook reviews because their laptop has been failing them)

Lots of books to occupy me and my sons... and bring us to different times and worlds and minds.

Lots of food for the soul... even if most of them fatten me up.

I have good health... and even better friends. I also have much to live for. I am blessed. Truly.

Mommy and Me-Time: What Do You Do to Take Care of You?

2011-05-05T23:04:00.000+08:00

If you're a mom, you probably wake up ahead of everybody else... and turn in the last. You're either creating makeshift princess beds or doing the school run. You're the go-to person for everyone: whether they need a shirt darned, an ouchie kissed, a lunch bag prepared. You're the main source of entertainment... starting with the kicks from inside by your precious.

Most times, you are worn and stretched and spread too thinly... and you start to feel insane! So, now, why not tell me what you do to take care of YOUR needs and wants. In a minimum of 50 words, post your answer in your blog.

And because it's the merry month of mothers, Unilab has been kind to provide a beauty bag as prize for the best blog post. We might also choose posts for minor prizes so make sure you join! And of course, please do not forget to include a link to my blog (Mec as Mom) and Unilab's Facebook Page in your blog post. Once you have blogged about your Mommy Me Time, leave a comment under this post so we'll know that you are joining the contest.

Blog entries will be judged according to the following:
Quality of blog post = 50%
Mec As Mom Fave = 30%
Unilab Fave = 20%

The contest will run from May 05 to May 30, 2011. And only one entry per Mom! :) Open to Philippine residents only.

Know that these can be yours if we choose your post!

My Sons and Their Eyesight

2011-05-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

As I was feeding my infant his pureed carrots, I mentioned to my cousin that I really hope my sons won't end up like their Dad who needed prescription glasses at such a young age (high school). If it were up to me, I really hope they'd inherit my 20/20 vision and that all the technology in the world right now won't affect them. After all, a 20/20 vision does seem to be a pretty tall order for kids now who really grow up with TV sets, gaming consoles, computers and every other portable digital screen... like cellphones!

Speaking of glasses, though, I came across $6.95 prescription eyeglasses and I just had to research on it if it was a good deal or something with a catch. Then, I found out it was Zenni Optical glasses (Zenni was in the news--journal-news.com recently) which I keep forgetting to tell my husband about. We usually have to go to Sta. Cruz for his eye wear and he recently paid around P4k for his latest pair. If we order from Zenni, we could have a pair at a fraction of that cost... kinda like getting a good deal from a Groupon site. You have a great array of frame styles to choose from too.

Maybe I will keep this tidbit in mind for my sons, if and when they need prescription glasses. Meanwhile, I hope tons of vegetables in their diet are doing their job.

Learning Moment for Me

2011-05-04T23:36:00.000+08:00

I met with a breast friend, intending to see the new Arugaan Day Care at PIA. We agreed to meet for lunch first at a Veneto Restaurant. Yakee adored Velvet at first sight and in less than an hour, he was already in her arms and she was making him taste parmesan cheese in his palms.

As he was dusting the cheese off his hands, he accidentally knocked over the parmesan cheese container and it fell on the floor and broke. Normally, that would have generated a "Yakee..." from me, said in a sad, disapproving voice. But Velvet was quick to reassure him and even prompted him to say sorry to the cheese and then to say goodbye. Then she matter-of-factly told my son, "It's ok, that sometimes happens. We're sorry for the cheese."

I think that moment endeared her more to my son... and it was really a learning opportunity for me. Here I am, hoping to embrace Waldorf and homeschooling, but how have I been handling my son's blunders and mistakes?

I like to believe that I am not the worst Mom there is... and that I am actually slightly better than the average Mom. But oh, I have so far to go. This week found me unable/unwilling to go online because I am trying to master my son's discipline some more... and that basically means learning patience and self-control myself, and spending more time with him so he need not force attention for himself.

Excited Over Eden Again

2011-05-03T17:23:00.000+08:00

I just saw the pictures of the latest Eden Maternity collection and they were fab! Well, I didn't like the shade of some of the colored stuff as they were muted instead of vibrant... but I am still liking the reversible yoga pants, shorts, the pocket dress (such a summery look!) and the Glamouflage (which I can't afford, hehe).

A fellow N@Wie, who has a small business printing birthday party stationery, is also digging the new collection :)

I also like the Athena maxi dress but since I really seldom have need for a dress, I am not considering daydreaming about it. I am reconsidering their Eiffel dress though since I recently saw someone wearing it and found it really flattering.

Sigh. If only we're not scampering for tuition money!

I Need to Look Non-Matronic

2011-04-30T15:22:00.007+08:00

Truth be told, I really cannot afford to pay someone who's undergone several personal trainer certification programs to help me shape up in time for my stint as primary sponsor in a wedding this June. And it is May already tomorrow! I am still saggy and flabby everywhere even though I have lost a lot of weight.

Sigh.

I am also having acne problems again in a major way but believe I shouldn't really put creams and stuff until Yamee is older and not as dependent anymore on my breast milk. Sigh, again.

I need to look my age, if not younger, at that wedding! I don't want to look worn and frumpy. Good luck to me.

Bye, Bye Easy Baby

2011-04-28T20:37:00.000+08:00

I was right not to enjoy the 'easy baby' phase of Yamee so much. Because now, he has been an antsy baby who keeps us up all night. Talk about my under eye dark circles being back. Sigh.

Hubs says sometimes I actually don't wake up anymore as our wee one fusses and cries at around 3 or 5 am. Woe to him though, since he still has to go to work. Just this morning, Yamee woke me up every 30 minutes or so by kicking his father. Hehe.

Yamee also insists in being carried a lot, and seems to be affected so much by the heat (which is one reason why we don't like carrying him, but he demands it!). So, I have turned to twice-a-day baths.

The only one who can really make him laugh now is his Kuya. And much as we love him, we're really crossing our fingers that he doesn't grow up to be a moody child.

Milk Mama Diaries Blog Carnival for the Month for Mothers

2011-04-27T02:22:00.022+08:00

The first Milk Mama Diaries Carnival last March was a huge success!

As Jenny previously explained, the Carnival will be held every other month, generally, so the next Carnival will be live on Mother's Day - May 8, 2011. Topic for May will be "Breastfeeding Mother's Top Ten" - think of any list of 10 you'd like to talk about. It could be the 10 gifts to a new mom, 10 benefits of breastfeeding, 10 myths of breastfeeding, 10 things you shouldn't say to a nursing mom, 10 places you've nursed in public, 10 problems with breastfeeding, 10 steps to successful breastfeeding, 10 tips to new moms, 10 problems you faced, 10 breastfeeding must-have's, 10 pumping tips, 10 breastfeeding anecdotes... we can go on and on - but I hope you get the picture!

Read my March Carnival post to get an idea on how a blog carnival post looks like.

To join the carnival, please fill up this FORM and include the topic you will write about. We will try to avoid repetition of topics or top 10 lists so the earlier you fill up the form, the earlier you ensure that you will be able to write about your topic. In case your preferred topic has been chosen by another participant, we will email you immediately to request you to change your topic. Otherwise, we will contact both participants so even if they will write about the same top 10, they can choose different items on the list.

Please include this short blurb on the top of your post:

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (May). This carnival is dedicated to all moms, celebrating Mother's Day today. Participants will share various topics covering A Breastfeeding Mother's Top Ten List. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants."

If you don't have a blog but would like to join, please email me (delisyus at gmail dot com) or Jenny (fabnaima at gmail dot com) so we can arrange to have you hosted as a guest blogger. Submissions are due by 4 May 2011 and the carnival will go live on 8 May 2011. I will email you before carnival day for instructions on posting.

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Before and After Being a Mom

2011-04-26T18:33:00.000+08:00

I made sure to look for pics where I'm wearing a similar top. And yes, generally, I look good in red with deep necklines. But more than 30 lbs. (and six years) separate these two pictures so I am, naturally, more endowed in the AFTER pic.

Some days, I feel I looked better before. No fats, no cellulite, no flab. So yeah, generally, the difference is just the amount of flesh in my frame. And because of the weight gain (which I really can't blame on motherhood... chocolates, cupcakes, cookies, rice, seafood, etc pa!), I now have to invest in a more expensive wardrobe to look good. Before, I could just buy off the rack and a P300-top is already expensive for me. Now, I don't look good anymore in any top for that amount. Unless maybe, we're talking about bras...

Before, I am DELISYUS because I was sexy. Now, I am delicious to whoever I am breastfeeding.

But look at my smile! :)

All I wanted was to be a Mom growing up. And despite the tears and battle scars, I am thankful I am one. And I really felt all kinds of sexy with my first pregnancy, in awe of just how much my body can change shape while affirming the female privilege of being able to grow someone inside.

And then, there's breastfeeding... which, eventhough it made me feel like a milking cow (which it shouldn't since lactation is not just specific to cows), was something so rewarding that it allowed me to reinvent myself. And reach out to other bewbs. I mean, mothers.

And there are my sons... who will always see me as the most beautiful woman in the world (until they get married, and even then, I won't be unseated, just qualified).

So, hello... definitely I am more beautiful now. Inside and Out. I may not have aged as healthily and gracefully as I wanted but the more important thing remains: I have more love in my life. :)

*~*

Official entry to the Facebook contest by Babymama.

Parent-Child Summer Class Started Yesterday

2011-04-26T12:53:00.000+08:00

... and Yakee spent the first half of it whining and annoying me with baby talk, because he got overwhelmed by all the other kids who arrived before we did.

He also spent the first half of it running around. And calling the teacher "huy" (which really grates on my nerves because I don't know where he picked that habit up).

But he enjoyed the butterfly and flower I made... and went home to give the flower to Ninang. And he enjoyed the sandbox time a hell lot (which is what he was itching for). And he was in good terms with all the other kids, and another Jap boy befriended him. So, he was happy.

And I trust he will learn in time to be more gently present. Scrap that. We will both learn in time to be gently present.

My Fault

2011-04-19T09:54:00.000+08:00

It was my brilliant idea to let Yakee watch The Incredibles. Now, both he and I have to pay for my bad judgment by banning all shows. See, Yakee's failing to draw the line between pretense and reality and has been daydreaming about being a superhero slaying villains that he's hitting people left and right... even strangers at the mall.

It's a little hard though since my brother lets his son watch TV all day and we go there for meals. Good thing my son can entice his cousin to just play bubbles or color here at home.

Sigh.

No more brilliant ideas, Mommy Mec.

Heat Is On

2011-04-19T09:36:00.000+08:00

Summer heat has finally come... last week, it was still generally cool. But now, you can absolutely feel the heat devouring you after stepping out of an air-conditioned room.

And because the heat is on, air-conditioners are working overtime. I'm guessing some would need to use a dehumidifier too for extended A/C use.

I am already thinking of really bathing my boys twice a day. Yakee used to do that till he started having colds all the time so I stopped bathing him at night. Yamee, on the other hand, seemed sensitive to colds and rhinitis so I have only done it once.

But the heat is on. We can all do with more baths!

Bittersweet: Milestones and Jealousy

2011-04-18T16:20:00.000+08:00

Yamee was given solids yesterday.

Can you hear Yakee thanking us and applauding us for taking care of his younger brother?

But later on, Yakee would also be very unruly, disruptive and physically aggressive. And I believe it was because he couldn't process how he felt about all the pride and attention over his younger brother's milestone.

The day ended terribly for him.

As Yamee becomes more engaging, Yakee also tests his limits more. Just this morning, he scratched my face for the first time in a tantrum. He also started using his feet to push Yamee away when I was trying to put him down for a nap. This... despite continued QT with him.

Sigh.

Heaven help me be a better, more understanding and patient parent.

Disappointed with the Children's Workshop Expo

2011-04-13T14:11:00.000+08:00

I made hubby promise to take me and that he did. Unfortunately, I was a little disappointed. I guess I expected more vendors there. I was really looking forward to seeing new trends, all possible play groups, preschools and classes there that's available to families from the metro now. I was looking for something to enrol my child in once we start homeschooling for real that will provide socialization and avenue for creativity.

Still, I was impressed with the wushu classes because wushu was something I saw my child doing. And he loved getting a spider painted on his cheeks. Hehe.

Now, I shall go over all the brochures given away at the expo and blog about them. I'm sure some others will find them helpful. Oh yeah, I do like getting a copy of the latest Mommy Pages.

It Just Really Hit Me that It's Already April

2011-04-12T09:09:00.000+08:00

Haha. Kinda stupid, right?

But it just really hit me that it's already April. I have actually been saving photos taken in April in my March folder. Tsk. Tsk.

Soon, it will be May and mother's month already... and time for getting gifts like chamilia charm bracelets, books, new Eden stuff, chocolates... mmmm... suddenly, I want April to be over, haha.

But... yesterdy, we celebrated Yamee's 5th month birthday. The little guy was sooo fussy all day that I almost put him on timeout. I wish I can say he's teething but he's had days like that since he was 3 months old so I don't know anymore.

And Yakee had a major meltdown... one that made me realize that in a year or two, I'd be hardpressed carrying him to our bedroom for a timeout. Sigh.

I just thank hubs for buying me white chocolate cupcakes to soothe my soul.

My Hyper Yakee

2011-04-10T11:02:00.000+08:00

My Yakee has started on his swimming lessons with Lozada. This is his third summer in the Baby and Me program. Tomorrow, I have to bring goggles for him because his instructor is making him do slightly more advanced activities for him.

Is he enjoying it? You bet! If he was an adult, you'd say he doesn't need foods that increase testosterone because he's pure lean muscle and adrenaline! So, I really hate that it's still really cold (it rained last Monday) because my son absolutely doesn't have any fats in his body, so he's always shivering. But still, he's a happy camper. I get hurt because he won't stop kicking!

I'm a happy Mom though. And really proud because our (his and mine) efforts are paying off... he's remained happy in the water.

HK Scenario One: Sick Child

2011-04-08T11:43:00.000+08:00

Hubs asked me a question the other night: What if one of the child gets sick while we're in HK? Follow up questions included 'will we still go to Disneyland' and 'who will stay with the sick child.'

I said that if it's a major illness, that's what the credit card will be for. Good thing they have good hospitals in HK.

If it's just fever and colds, and if it's Yamee... I will stay behind with him. I will, of course, not risk further infection by bringing him to where there's a big crowd. Plus, maybe it's just rest he needs.

However, if it's Yakee who will get sick, all of us would have to stay behind. I cannot care for a sick preschooler and an infant, plus, I am breastfeeding Yamee so they can't take him without me. I also doubt I can pump while there.

I just really hope though that none of us will incur any Offshore Injury. We can deal with the colds and exhaustion, and maybe allergic rhinitis, later... after we get back to the Philippines. Hehe.

The New McDonalds Commercial and My Concerns

2011-04-07T09:35:00.004+08:00

I am glad I didn't blog about this last night because I would have been more emotional last night and maybe made a mountain out of a molehill.

Anyway, the new commercial features a cute little girl asking a cute little boy if she culd be his girlfriend. The boy gets indignant, saying something like girls are so demanding, they want this and that. The girl frowns and says she actually only wanted some fries. The idea was, the fries are very affordable and it's so easy to please the girl, I think.

Still, the commercial has many parents frowning, because of the suggestion of a boy-girl relationship when the kids aren't even in big schools yet. Harmless? Not to parents of kids with broken hearts. Not to kids with surreal expectations of themselves or others. And definitely not harmless when kids hit puberty and start dating, given, not just the emotional issues from boy-girl relationships, but also the social issues of unplanned pregnancies and STDs.

What gets my goat though is that it feels to me as perpetrating the sterotype that:
1) boys/men have to be wary of girls/women because they will ask/demand things of them, use them, exploit them, etc.

2) girls/women will dangle relationships in exhange for goods. For material things. For their whims to be satisfied.

3) boys have to provide for a girl.

Why can't McDonalds come up with commercials like:
1) The cute little girl/boy falls and mildly scrapes a knee. The cute little boy/girl sees, helps clean it with a tissue, gets a sundae to cool the scrape (by placing the cup on the wound) and they then share the sundae (after all, it's summer). At least it will send a message that when you get hurt, you fall back up, and you'd get by with a little help from friends. Plus, sundaes and summer go together.

Or

2) Cute little girl and cute little boy are being asked to play together by their parents. They have thought bubbles, "But he's a boy/she's a girl." But then they play soccer together, bake/play together, etc. then have McDonalds after, as equals.

Or

3) Cute little girl and boy decides they want fries. They don't have money. They go over their stuff and consult with parents what they can sell then they have a garage sale of it, where other kids buy their stuff. Or, they offer to do extra chores for money. Then, they use their money to finance the fries.

McDonalds has given us great commercials but lately, I think there's less critiquing on their parts... or less budget for the ad agency they hire.

*~*

I heard an expert say before that they count one complaint/feedback as ten (whether in commercials or other consumer goods), because people are not likely to really contact them when they have complaints. Let's write them and share our thoughts, anyway, so we can effect the change we like to see in this world.

Contact McDonalds:
Golden Arches Development Corporation
17th Floor Citibank Centre, Paseo De Roxas Avenue, Makati City
Telephone No.: (632) 888-8500
E-mail: writeus@ph.mcd.com

I guess we can also comment on the Youtube links of the said commercial (which I won't share here since I really do not want to promote this commercial).

*~*

The commercial can be a teachable moment too. Parents can remind their kids to not look outside of themselves or their family for gratification, for their needs or wants to be met. Especially if it's just fries!

*~*

Once upon a time, a gag by Will Ferrell and friends made the internet round. They got this cute little girl to pretend anger, and they edited it to make the girl seem like she was saying 'sh!t' many times.

I found it funny. At that time.

It took a childless friend to make me realize how wrong it was to even find it funny. The dignity of the child was at stake because, though it was only edited, adults she trusts put filth in her mouth.

Maybe that's the same reason why I felt so strongly about this commercial. I don't have a girl. I may never have a girl. But that doesn't mean I won't forever ache for one, and that I won't forever fight for a world where they need not sell themselves short.

*~*

We are not fast food fans and we don't watch that much TV. I can't say the same for other families though. Plus, it's easy to just laugh such things off... same way that it's easy to laugh it off when your little girl twists her shirt up to expose her belly button, puts makeup on, and struts her stuff at age 4. However, it's no laughing matter already when she does the same at age 14. And definitely ludicrous when she still does it at age 44.

It's easy to laugh it off when a little girl worms her way out of chores by being sweet... or tries to get treats by being sweet. It's not funny anymore when she grows up thinking that's the way to go about in this world.

I am a Mom of sons. I'd equally hate for them to deal with such girls when they're all grown... or to go about in this world thinking that they can buy a woman's affections.

It's a tragedy. We can stop it.

Breastfeeding Picture

2011-04-05T07:13:00.002+08:00

I still don't have a professionally-taken breastfeeding picture. And already, my Yamee is not that little anymore. Kinda sucks too, given my investment in great nursing tops, hehe. Plus, my girls won't stay perky, you know.

Well, I really hope to have one done... and soon. Before Yamee starts really sitting up and walking. I want a beautiful picture for this beautiful relationship and time with my son.

*~*

I do have a picture of happily doing it in public :D

*~*

Meanwhile, check these pictures of celebrity moms breastfeeding.

A Summer Affair: Children’s Workshops Expo 2011 by Working Mom Magazine

2011-04-04T15:25:00.000+08:00

I am pretty excited about the Children’s Workshops Expo 2011 happening on April 10 at the NBC Tent, Bonifacio Global City. Yakee is pretty much covered for the summer but I want to see what classes are being offered now, if anything is near where we live, what I can offer on my own and new educational/enrichment trends. Consider it as research for my homeschooling dream.

The expo is from 10 AM to 7 PM. See you there!!!

Personalized Gifts

2011-04-02T12:05:00.000+08:00

I had recently just gotten the photobooks I had intended to be birthday gifts for our nieces. And since the photobooks sort of chronicle the girls' growth for the past 3 years, they're really more of Mother's day gifts.

Now, I stumbled upon personalized gifts found at PersonalCreations.com and may I just say, I am in danger of getting bankrupt again? I especially liked the Puzzle name stools (wonder if there's a local producer), the alphabet quilt and the wooden rocking chairs. Sigh, to have money and space for all these cute things!

Books on Activities for and with Kids... Unused

2011-03-30T16:43:00.000+08:00

I have at least 4 books on things you can do to and with your child to facilitate their different developments that are gathering dust on my shelves. My cousin just poured over one for her caregiving assignment.

Meanwhile, I have while away the afternoon in front of the PC because I didn't want to deal with my firstborn and a particular discipline issue. I know, I am so bad for being an escapist. But there you have it, I am not in a good place and has been failing my sons as a Mom.

Sighers.

If We Had To Do Our Weddings All Over Again...

2011-03-29T19:18:00.000+08:00

My mom friends and I have been chatting on FB about our weddings and what we'd do differently if we could do it again. Mind you, we're all generally happy about how it turned out but still, there are little things in hindsight that we could have improved upon.

Like me, I'd have gotten Cecilio Abad instead and just begged for mercy on the price, rather than travelling to and from to Tet Hagape's :) Then, we'd also have invited less people, and maybe really did that breakfast wedding & reception thing and just throw a party after the honeymoon.

I still would have gotten Unity Coins instead of hunted high and low for Morgan silver dollar because I like that our arrhae had all those marriage tenets stamped on them.

Oh, I also wouldn't have bought so much liquor for the guests, insisted more on RSVP and maybe had our reception at that ballroom because the garden at PICC just proved way too big :)

But i'd definitely have married the same man. I can't imagine anybody else being the father of my kids.